contemplative dialogue

Beauty in Brokeness

2012-02-14T06:46:00.000-06:00

Every person is broken.

You're broken and I'm broken.

Life takes it's toll on each individual in different ways and to various degrees that causes places within to break, to not function properly. During childhood and adolescence you most likely learned ways to cover up and disguise your broken places. Ironically many people end up putting out an overly strong reaction to the area of brokenness within that others think it's actually one of their strengths. For example, the popular jock in high school that may intimidate the other students is himself intimidated that someone will blow his cover and realize he's just as weak, scared and in need of love.

Brokenness may seem unattractive if you're trying to impress people, but it is a beautiful fragrance before God and to other people. David is a Biblical person that I believe every person can relate to. He's strong in certain areas, yet very weak in others yet his devotion and passion for God never diminishes. His declaration in Psalm 51 that God will never deny a broken and humble spirit, is life-giving and healing for everyone who it willing to be vulnerable.

It's easy to despise or become shameful of broken places in yourself. They're probably the places that others see as being "weak," "unattractive" or "your downfall," but the good news is those very areas of brokenness are a sacrifice that God will never turn away.

God delights to enter the parts of your soul that are weak, desperate and feel humiliating. He delights in it because he receives your brokenness and infuses it with his Spirit, his strength. Suddenly your inner life transforms from a cavern of shame, guilt and hiding into a public demonstration of his goodness. You'll find that allowing God to enter your brokenness enables you to give yourself to others in areas of need.

After allowing God into your malfunctions the next bold step is to open yourself up to your spiritual community. Giving yourself as a sacrifice to those who surround you - those you call your brothers and sisters. It's here where the power of God will magnify at a rapid rate. Once one person allows the strength of God to shine through his weakness publicly, something in the atmosphere changes and invites others into the space of freedom and release from hiding.

God's genius far exceeds your finite attempts, your failures and your inability to live up to the law. His intelligence surpasses every plan of evil, every part of your soul that's tempted to serve the self more than God and the broken places that you may want to ignore. He's able to make everything be an opportunity for your growth and healing and a stage to increase his fame within the earth.

Pursue Love

2012-02-13T06:34:00.001-06:00

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It doesn't matter how gifted, talented or how great you are at something if it's not done in love.

Reading 1 Corinthians 13 this morning struck a chord in me. I was reminded of the reality that all spiritual and natural gifts are fading and will not last through death. God has given gifts to his church for the purpose of building her up, providing her direction and comfort and to rebuke, correct and discipline. When we all pass from this life into the next, these gifts are no longer needed. We will dwell with God in perfect union, making every spiritual gift useless (faith, tongues, prophecy, charity, etc).

Paul goes to extremes in his writing to the Corinthians to drive home this point. He makes it clear that the only thing that will remain is love. It says that no matter how "good" the actions or the gifts that you operate in are, they are nothing, an annoying noise and of no true value if they are not in love. He admonishes his readers to pursue love and desire spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 14) in that order. To pursue spiritual gifts first and then love second can lead to idolatry or self-seeking. Love is always the primary pursuit - gifts are intended to be the overflow of that primary place.

Take this a step further - think about all your actions and the motive behind those actions. Good actions may cause further good in the earth, but it will only last for so long. It's the acts of love that require sacrifice, selflessness and death that will go with you into the never-ending life beyond the grave.

Scripture provides a measuring stick of love by describing it's attributes; patience, kindness, not being rude or arrogant, not being forceful, not being resentful or irritable and it doesn't become happy when bad things happen to bad people. This is the gauge of love.

Today take Paul's instructions to heart. Pursue love above all else. Earnestly desire spiritual gifts to help build the church and humbly give yourself to God's service. Only God can enable you to live through love because he is the essence of love.

Never-ending Investments

2012-02-10T07:35:00.000-06:00

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

When Jesus asked the Father for his kingdom to come on earth, he was showing us that the unseen, eternal richness of full life was among us. Every human that is born again is a paradox; forever becoming more and more alive within while wasting away outwardly.

You were born for eternal things - things that last, that can't be burned, destroyed or decay (Matthew 6:19). You are intended to invest everyday in a storage account in the place God dwells. Within all choices today you will either be investing in things that are temporary or lasting. When the end of the age comes everything will be burned. Only things that come from the eternal realm will remain.

The beauty of spiritual investment is that you can deposit in the imperishable in almost ever decision. It's not the action, but the heart behind the action that qualifies whether the treasure is being stored in heaven or on this planet. Because love is eternal, everything done with a heart of humility, servant-hood and in the fear of God warrants eternal investment. This means you can go to your bland, lifeless, godless job and make lasting investments all day long by returning kindness for being mistreated, humility for a proud boss and doing everything you do as if it were worship to God (even stuffing envelopes with marketing materials for a company you don't believe in).

This shift in perspective can change the way you see your life, your vocation and your friendships. Spiritual investments lie all around you every day. Depending on whether you live through love or choose yourself determines whether your investment will last a few minutes or live on forever.

This is why Paul constantly throughout his letters to the churches admonishes them to "fix their eyes," "look to the unseen" and "do not lose heart in doing well." Obviously Christ was the prime example of this perspective. He endured the suffering and agony of the cross for the joy that was before him. He knew that the temporary and passing pain would cause a catastrophic shift in human history that would last without end.

Today, burn the question, "where am I storing up my treasure?" on your mind and in your soul. Before you make a simple choice, such as if you spend time with the kids or surf the web, ask yourself this question. Heed the words of Christ and stop making your investments in things that will eventually end. Make your investments in the unseen eternal realities.

The Battle of Faith

2012-02-09T06:36:00.001-06:00

In almost every decision you're faced with choosing between faith and fear.

I've recently identified this in my own life. In certain instances I would make decisions, small decisions and then suddenly find my inner life bound with worry to the decision. My mind would cling to certain tiny choices and obsess over them to the point that the meditation of my mind was being infiltrated with minor anxiety, doubt and worry. I started to realize that the starting place for this outcome in my life was the root of fear.

For example, I am very cautious about spending money, since I lost my job and starting working again. When the opportunity comes up to purchase groceries I'm faced with a internal struggle. Do I spend the entire time grocery shopping worrying about how much money I'm gonna spend, worrying if my heart is in the right place or obsessing about the bills that due in two weeks. Choosing this meditation plants seeds of fear within my soul that can quickly grow into other areas unrelated to grocery shopping or spending money.

Fear is like a virus to the spirit. If you allow it to enter your inner life, it will quickly affect all other areas. It will cling and bring to the forefront of your emotions insecurity, hostility and can cripple your ability to see yourself others clearly. Although the initial fear may begin in one area, it can wreck havoc throughout your soul.

The place where I've found freedom is in the recognition of this point of decision. I've come to recognize the fruit of seeds of fear and quickly reject their messages. In that moment I humble my inner self and ask God for faith. In the grocery shopping situation I change my thoughts and begin to meditate on God's goodness, his provision and I say to God, "I'm buying this food in faith. I want to do all things to honor you. Guide me as I shop and give me the faith to make this purchase in a place of hope and peace."

Choosing faith dispels the seeds of fear. It causes the human heart to fill with hope, joy, love, peace and rest. The Bible is clear that God is the giver of faith and anyone who needs more faith should simply ask him for it (James 1).

You may know first-hand the debilitating power fear can have on your emotional state, but shift your focus to the power that faith posses. Faith is what stopped the waves and wind, brought Lazarus back to life and it's what enables redemption of your soul. The more you choose faith on a daily basis, the more your life will be filled with goodness and the desire to fulfill the great commandment - love God with everything you have and love other people.

Think about how many times the Scripture makes reference to someone's faith. Statements like, "by faith," " you of little faith" or "because of their faith..." Faith allows you to live out of a free space that welcomes others, cares about their concerns and fills your life with lightness. Every moment of every day there is either an opportunity to plant seeds of fear or faith in your heart. Live today with an eternal perspective and invest your entire self in the things that are not seen, but seen.

Delayed in Silence

2012-02-07T05:22:00.000-06:00

I love airports delays. Now, I know I’m crazy for loving to sit on the floor anxiously waiting for the speaker above my head to call my flight number, but everything about this crazy wait causes a breakdown in our overly stressed-out, hyper productive society. I love watching how people respond when the gods of the airport disrupt their jam-packed day. There’s nothing they can do; they can’t solve their problem by jumping on their cell, sending an email or raising their impatient voice. The greatest fear of American society hits the entire population of terminal A – boredom. No TV, Internet, friend to pass time away with— no one but their self, their conscience, their soul. They’re trapped with nowhere to turn but inward.

Go ahead and watch people when this type of catastrophe hits. They try with all their might to distract themselves from having to face their interior. They desperately attempt to make small talk with those sitting around them: talking about the weather, complaining about their ruined day, and how faulty our air transportation system is and how they could run it better. I love human nature, especially at its finest. It’s as if logic goes out the window and the close mindedness of the “I’m right” mentality takes over, making many respond like children. They scream and cry because life just isn’t going the way they need it go. They want it like Burger King, “their way, right a way,” but it just doesn’t work like that when flying the friendly skies. As many times as the gate workers announced the current condition, people are insistent that when they ask the same question that’s been asked by everyone else they will somehow receive a different answer.

Now, do I have places to go, meetings to attend and tasks to accomplish? Of course I do, why else would I be flying (except for my occasional vacation)? But it honestly doesn’t cause an ulcer to form in the pit of my stomach because I can’t get a definite minute by minute of my Friday afternoon. My response really has nothing to do with the business of my day or that my work is less important than Mr. Joe in front of me; I honestly believe it’s because I am at peace with my interior self. I can sit in solitude, in silence. I’ve deprogrammed myself from our stress-addicted society and determined that being busy does not make me important. I’ve stopped running from boredom and the fear of being alone and embraced the secret of silence, which leads to greater fulfillment in life.

Besides the purging of the human soul I think we avoid silence because it’s been tagged with a negative connotation. What happened when you got in trouble as a kid? You were sent to your room or to “the corner” to sit in silence. I don’t know about you but that was torture for me. I would rather have had soap stuck in my mouth than sit all alone. We were punished with silence! Now after much deep thought I have come to a firm belief that the reason behind the silent torment was to force us to think about our actions and where we went wrong. But did I ever do that? Um no. Rather I sat there contemplating ways to get even with my brother or attempting to figure out why my parents had a conspiracy against me.

Okay, enough talk; try it. Sit in silence for ten minutes. Don’t play background music, don’t read, don’t doanything. At first your mind will feel like it’s stuck in dead-stop traffic. You won’t be able to see much of anything except red taillights and hear the overwhelming hum of all the engines. Don’t freak out and give up after one minute. Take a deep breath, clear your mind and simply ask the Author of peace and life to breath on you. Watch as those vehicles begin to move, hear the sound of them whizzing right by you. Watch as the complexities of living in a concrete jungle begin to disappear and you find yourself in the middle of God’s creation simply being and existing. Allow the mind to rest and find its place in the center of the Father. Don’t hold anything back; let your mind swim freely in the open waters of solitude. Let your true-self surface, face the facts and listen to your heartbeat alongside His. Honestly, if you’re like me you most likely will find yourself falling asleep – that’s okay! Go ahead and dive into rest. Let the most overworked and underpaid faculty of the human body go on standby.

Have you ever seen two people madly in love? I mean sick and drunk with love. They can’t get their eyes off each other as if there is an invisible force between them. I always see them in the park captivated by a mystical energy. The odd aspect of this scene is that they use very few words to communicate their love. They sit for hours just staring at one another unable to break free from the power of their love. Now I am a romantic by nature (most Italian’s are), but this is not too idealist, this is not a fairy tale. It’s real life, true life. It’s sitting in silence with the Lover of your soul being fascinated by Him; waiting for His move or gentle whisper; letting His love touch the deepest and most intimate parts of you. All of a sudden, silence doesn’t sound so boring any more it actually becomes quite invigorating. The 40^th Psalm puts it so pure and simple: “I waited patiently for the Lord, he inclined and heard my cry.”

Remembrance

2012-02-06T07:03:00.001-06:00

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. Psalm 77:11

It's easy to forget.

It's easy to depart from one season in life and enter into another without reflecting on the goodness of God in the previous. Throughout scripture God commands his people to build monuments, create traditions and implement annual festivals for the sake of remembering what he has done. God knows that humans have a tendency during times of need to cry out to him and then when God goes through great lengths to show his faithfulness, we quickly depart and forget.

I think about the time when Jesus healed 10 lepers and only one returned to thank him. That one man caught the miracle and saw with clarity the Son of God. The others were so caught up in the miracle and in the possibilities of what life would look like from now on that they never returned with gratitude.

Take time right now to stop life. Begin to remember the goodness, the faithfulness and the miracles God has done in your life on your behalf. Remember your childhood, your youth and recent times of when your desperate needs were met by God. Set up a monument in your heart so that you never forget.

In times of future need, you can easily access these places of remembering the deeds, faithfulness and miracles of God. It's amazing in seasons of trial and seasons of ease how easy it is to forget God's character - that he will come through and that he is the exclusive source of security, pleasure and hope.

Taking a moment to remember all his deeds creates a fertile space for faith to spring forth. As you declare within yourself how good and dependable God is, you will suddenly feel the increase lightness and the ability to believe and hope for what is to come. The Spirit will give birth to love, peace and assurance.

Today, remember him. Remember his faithfulness to you. Remember he desires you above all his creation. You are the affection of his heart.

The Real You

2012-02-03T07:10:00.000-06:00

You're not who you think you are.

Second Corinthians Five Seventeen.

In some areas you over-estimate yourself, but in most areas of your life you probably under-estimate the abilities you have given by your Designer.

At the death of Christ all sin of every human was pardoned (2 Corinthians 5), but not everyone has been reconciled to the Father. Reconciliation is the result of humbling the human soul and recognizing the rebellion and harm done and asking for forgiveness, which is the acceptance of the reconciliation.

After coming into the understanding of the reconciliation of God's mercy, you're still limited by your self-perception, your worldview and your conditional ways of seeing.

You are not who you think you are.

When scripture says you are a new creation, in the eyes of God you are seen with all your potential. You are viewed in your perfected state. Constantly, day and night, his Spirit is proclaiming the truth of who you really are over your life. God continually calls you higher, prophesies the realities that are beyond what you think you're capable of and declares your new nature.

This is why Paul says multiple times in the New Testament that you are not bound to sin, to law or to death. You have been given utter freedom, ultimate forgiveness and endless mercy. Even when you participate in sinful actions, you are not condemned (Romans 8:1). God's desire is for you, His love constantly pursuing you and reminding you of the One who is higher than you.

You are not who you think you are.

You are able. You are kind. You are forgiving. You are merciful. You can overcome anything. You can be thankful in all circumstances. Your life can impact your world. You are perfected in the sight of God.

Stop evaluating yourself by your own or other people's standards. Live your life today under the light burden of Christ - free, enabled and full of hope for the future. The mirror within your soul may need some fixing, repair and cleaning to see yourself properly.

You are not who you think you are.

Your old man is dead. He was murdered thousands of years ago on the tree (Galatians 2:20). When the Messiah said, "it is finished," it was. There's nothing else that needs to be done. You need not live in condemnation, shame, guilt, self-conscious, regretful, always achieving and never accomplishing and with a sense of failure, not adding up or always coming in last place.

You are a new person. You have a new name, new clothes and a new identity. You are fully accepted, received and desired. You have been given authority in the greatest kingdom the earth has ever known - the Kingdom of God.

Today, ask God to open your spiritual ears to hear and understand the constant whispers of his Spirit. Listen to the message of heaven and tune out other messages that cloud your understanding. Come into the agreement and revelation of the potential you posses within.

Being Content

2012-02-02T06:55:00.000-06:00

It's a challenge to be content.

With most things being at your fingertips and ever-changing technology, contentment is difficult.

Being content in all things is a secret of God's kingdom that is rooted in humility and the recognition of God's majesty. When you understand that God is your father and he is supreme over all things, then no matter how much or how little you have, it's more than enough.

Hard seasons of my life have taught me this lesson. Being discontent breeds frustration, anger and ultimately a severe lack of faith and fuels fear. When the heart begins to consider everything that everyone else has, how your life is limited and how you've been dealt a poor hand of cards it's then that grumbling and complaining begin to pour like a polluted river.

That kind of spirit leads to months, years or a lifetime of wandering without every coming into the promise. You can keep yourself walking in dry and sandy places, lacking water, refreshment and satisfaction because you engage your heart in cursing your own life, instead of aligning with God's message over your life. You attempt to justify your actions, get easily defensive and become hostile when someone tries to love you with the brutal truth. Slowly areas of your heart get hard and you find yourself relating more to the Israelites in the wilderness, complaining about the food, the conditions and God's provisions.

Difficulty and challenge are a part of the human experience - you have no control over certain elements of life, you only have control on how your respond to the challenges of life. This is a secret in God's kingdom. It's a secret that will unlock faith, freedom and will cause your life to become a bit more salty to onlookers.

Being content in all things alleviates restriction and reveals certain judgements that you have against yourself and other people. Whether God brings increase or you experience lack in certain areas of life, your heart is at peace in a place of deep-rooted surrender. You can say with honesty and liberty, "you are the God that gives and takes away and I choose to say, 'blessed be your name.'"

Contentment begins with gratitude and thankfulness, which quickly causes the heart to melt, accesses the tangible grace of God and lifts your spirit. If you find it difficult to thank God, start with the obvious things. Thank him for life, your family, that you were able to eat food today. Thank him for a home to live in, for redemption and for the gift of His spirit. Suddenly, gratitude will give way to joy and hope, which provide the strength to continue your journey.

Welcoming Death

2012-02-01T07:05:00.003-06:00

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity." John 12:24-25

Death surrounds your life.

Everyday millions of tiny skin cells die and leave your body. Trillions of plants, animals and people die daily.

Death is something that the natural human spirit is intimidated with. Even if you meet someone that says they're not afraid of death, he doesn't really know if the statement is true until hey is facing death.

Obviously Christ overcame the fear and terror of death, but he also taught us another profound lesson about living in the revelation of death. In the above verse Jesus is teaching that the only way for new life to come is for death to first take place.

We see mini-deaths in our personal lives. Start with yourself. You have to mourn your childhood in order to embrace your teenage years. Then you're required to let go over your teenage years in order to welcome adulthood. The same progress is true if you have children. The reason it's difficult to watch your children grow is because you're required to grieve the previous season of your child's development in order to fully embrace the new season of development (newborn, toddler, young child, etc.).

Jesus knew the principle of farming because he was surrounded by farming and farmers throughout his life. He knew that in order for a plant to spring to life, it needed to release its seeds to the ground in order to dry up and die. Once the seeds withered, only then could they bring forth the beginnings of a plant that would one day produce fruit.

The same is true for all areas of your life. At times it is very difficult to allow certain aspects of your life to die, although you can hear and feel the Spirit pressing on your heart. Anything that has authority, lords over you or restricts you from serving God and man needs to experience a death so that it can fully come to life for God's purpose.

It's easy to hold on to things, to ideas and certain aspirations because they become a part of your identity, but God is calling you to let it go. Let it fall to the ground to die.

This is the ultimate act of surrender.

Once the seed of the desire, dream or thought is fully dead and withered, then the Spirit's rain can cause it to come to life.

Everything in life is like the manna in the desert. If you attempt to hold on to it, it will spoil and eventually kill you if you try to still eat it.

Death is inevitable. You know it well. Although you may not recognize it in your daily life, you experience it's effects every day. Even the redemption of your physical body requires a physical death. One day every person will close their eyes and take their final breath to enter the after-life.

When you experience the richness of life that comes from letting-go and surrendering all areas of life, you will soon begin to recognize death's knock and respond quickly (2 Corinthians 4:10-18). It's ironic that when you allow things to die that you've held on to for years, suddenly they come back to you in a better, more satisfying form than you thought was possible. The more you allow things to die for God's purpose, they more you will find life.

Jesus concludes his statement about death and life with, "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity."

Think on those words today. Do you love your life? Are you investing your attention in what's eternal or what will provide security and pleasure only for this life? God's desire is that you can find abundant life today in the pleasure of letting go and dying to all things that distract your heart from him.

Raisin Cakes

2012-01-31T08:50:00.001-06:00

God said to Hosea, "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes."

It's amazing the things we invest our lives and affections in, in exchange of the knowledge of God's perfect and accepting love. In this above verse, God is commanding his prophet go marry his unfaithful wife again the way God loves his people. In this, God says that he will continue to love his people even though the love the sacred raisin cakes more.

Raisin cakes?

Obviously the raisin cakes were a part of idol worship - but really, raisin cakes? It may seem absurd to trade eternal love for a cake, but this scripture is revealing of every human heart. It may have been raisin cakes then, but today it may demonstrate itself as the perfect image, the enticement of natural goods or having a diet that is not disciplined and excessive. There are certain "little" things in your life that have the potential to set up an altar against the love of God. It's typically small glimpses of curiosity, small decisions and tiny soul-investments that eventually cause idolatry to gain access to your soul.

Because the human soul craves and essentially needs God's glory for satisfaction, the soul can recognize a reflection of God's glory in things and begin to worship the thing instead of it's maker (Romans 1). This happens all to often. It can happen with things like facebook, relationships and even spiritual things or activities that seem good.

The human heart is constantly hungry, never satisfied until it finds rest in its designer. When you feast on lesser-loves it's like eating sand. It will fill you, but provides you with no nutrition, no true satisfaction and eventually will cause some major GI issues.

The picture in Hosea is a profound and even jolting image of the relationship and commitment between God and man. He is constantly perusing us and we inevitable find ourselves investing our souls, our longings and cravings in things instead of Him. This is the beauty of a broken man hanging on a tree. It's the beauty of God's determination to say, "I love you" and "I want you."

David prayed, "Search me and know me, oh God... lead me in the way that's eternal..." because he knew that his heart was deceitfull and unfaithful. He carried a revelation of God's goodness and kindness and knew that it was only with the Spirit's help that he could remain and be lead into the place of fidelity.

Survey the movements of your heart today. Take note of every time your soul wants a bite of the raisin cakes instead of the feast of the love of the Father. Ask the Spirit to open your eyes to reveal any areas of your heart that are invested in other things. He is faithful to lead you into truth and demonstrate his unimaginable grace.

Meditation

2012-01-30T13:08:00.000-06:00

"Oh God, we meditate on your unfailing love..." Psalm 48:9

Meditation is one aspect of our faith that is talked about so much in the Bible but isn't practiced. I believe that our current way of worshiping was an evolution from active meditation or corporate prayers and chants. In essence when we gather with the people of God and sing the songs we do, we are praying together, declaring together and actively meditating together.

Obviously, meditation is now mostly recognized with the New Age and Far East religions. Many Christians have such a negative association with the word that they've dismissed it from their daily life in God. Yet, I believe meditation is crucial in remembering him and growing in faith.

I know I am so familiar with the Bible that many times I can read an entire chapter and remember one sentence and even at that it's a vague memory. Yet, when I take the time to meditate on one verse, great understanding, revelation and life springs forth. For example, if I take one verse from the Bible like, "flesh gives birth to flesh but the Spirit gives birth to the Spirit," and I begin to say it over and over again, or sing it over and over again, eventually each word comes alive and deeper meaning springs up. The Holy Spirit comes and breathes life on the words I'm saying and before you know it, I could write an entire book on that one verse.

David knew this well. That's why there are so many references in the Psalms to meditating on God's promise, his word. Give it a try today. Instead of reading a whole bunch of verses or chapters and not remembering much, take one or two lines and begin to chew on it. Repeat it, sing it, write it, pray it. You'll see how quickly the words will take on life and slowly work their way into your very make up. The words will become permanently written on your heart, not just memory in your mind.

Get away today for some time and purposely meditate on his unfailing love.

Closer Than You Think

2012-01-26T06:43:00.001-06:00

Although you may know by what you’ve been taught that God isn’t far away, but within your soul you have a difficult time believing that God understands. Feelings of depression, alienation, loneliness and abandonment are some emotions that you may perceive as being far from God.

Yet, there is a word within Christian tradition that most people take for granted, look over or are unable to hear because of its overuse. "Emmanuel" is a mind boggling term, especially for those who lived before the reconciliation of heaven and earth. I find that the very idea of Emmanuel is outrageous, if you can disconnect yourself form religious jargon. The creative absurdity that God would follow and respect His laws in order to fulfill them, so that they no longer had a say in man’s redemption is something to be contemplated for a few thousands years.

For Jews, although God had chosen them, there was very little intimacy. Only a select few people would ever hear the voice of God or know his presence. Sacrifices, procedure and strict purity of heart and life were required to enter the place that God dwelt.

For gentiles, they could only worship God in the most outer courts of the temple of the Lord. They were welcomed by God, but it was very evident that they could only go so far.

Emmanuel is defined as “God with us.” This concept would have been difficult for Jews and Gentiles alike in ancient times. They were accustomed to God sending prophets, rulers, fire and judgment, but to think that God Himself would come was nothing but absurd. God didn’t send a representative of Himself to earth, nor did he send an angel, but He clothed himself in humanity and entered as one of us.

When you think of God, you may associate Him as dwelling in church buildings, hymns or religious trinkets, but He’s still found the same place you would have found Him when Christ was walking the earth – with sinners, the poor and those in need. He’s found among the homeless, the porn stars and the despised of society. He’s walking the streets in Asia where child prostitution is a norm and He’s sitting down with the confused teen that can’t figure out this life. Better yet – he’s with you. He’s with you now – in your mess, confusion and your frustration. He has bound Himself to you.

You can forget that Jesus was termed as man acquainted with sorrows. He understood the depth of the human emotion of pain, suffering and sorrow. Even though we associate the cross with physical pain, Christ’s suffering was more than painful. Mental and emotional anguish were compiled on his psychological state. He underwent abuse, mockery and on top of that, his followers left him. He couldn’t even get them to stay awake and pray the night of his arrest.

The darkest part of Christ’s encounter with His death had to be the moment in history when God was separated from Himself. This event, this statement made by Christ is one of the most complex theological ideas to wrap your mind around. Within the Godhead there is perfect harmony, perfect submission and perfect unity. The Father, Son and Spirit have never known anything other than oneness, until that moment on the cross when Jesus cried out, “Abbah, why have you forsaken me?”

Don’t miss this.

Don’t quickly read that line because you’ve heard it every Easter. Stop for a moment. Put this down and envision it, think about it and play that line over and over again in your mind till you can feel it. Remember, this is coming from the lips of a mutilated man that doesn’t even look human. It’s coming from someone who is being held on wood beams by nothing else but nails. Jesus, the love of His Father, pushes out the ultimate broken cray, “why? why have you forsaken me?

We can’t fully grasp or begin to understand the level and depth of alienation and aloneness that Jesus felt as the Father had to reject Him. In order for the full work of redemption to be complete, the rejection, wrath and damnation that God needed to have on you was taken on by Jesus.

In that moment the Son was rejected by the Father.

He was left to die with the verdict of sin on His shoulders so that like a seed falling to the ground, it could resurrect new life.

God knows alienation and rejection. Not only did he feel the depth of that emotion and mental state on the cross, but the heart of a loving, compassionate and welcoming God is despised, hated and rejected daily by millions of souls daily. He still receives and understands within His heart the rejection of His creation.

Hebrews 5:2 states, “He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.” Not only does God understand what human life feels like, what it’s like to watch a friend die or what it’s like to work to earn a living, He lived it. It’s easy to forget that Christ was a man. If you find yourself feeling as if God is distant or is so high and holy that He cannot possibly “get” what you’re going through, you’ve dismissed the entire reason Christ came. Do not forget Jesus’ humanity. Don’t forget He was born through a woman, just like you and died taking a last breath, just like you will someday.

This scripture makes it clear that Jesus remains our high priest and that he is eternally before the Father on our behalf. He enables the Almighty heart to deal with you gently even when you’re ignorant or unfaithful. Notice how Hebrews says that he willfully subject himself to weakness. He became weak on for sake. He endured pain, struggle and trial so that you would know peace and communion with God.

Allow yourself to identify your abandonment, your rejection and loneliness with what He feels and knows. Enter into God’s heart that understands more than you may give Him credit for. The Spirit is given to you for comfort and guidance. He doesn’t just empathize or sympathize with your pain or devastation – He feels it and embraces it along with you. He suffers with you and carries you through it.

Deep Callings

2012-01-25T08:25:00.001-06:00

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hopethat the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decayand brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time." Romans 8:20-22

The earth longs for redemption.

This scripture has always blown my mind. It honestly reminds me of Beauty and Beast. The physical earth has been frustrated (with a curse) in waiting for redemption. It is crying out for its destruction and redemption so that it can function in its fullness with God and man.

Paul tells us that all of creation longs with groaning and pains likened to childbirth since it fell under the curse. We too carry this longing, aching and desire for redemption. Even after we come into the light of God, the yearning for another world, another life is intensified. The light bulb has gone off in our spirits and now we're aware that we're not intended just for this life but that it's a vapor, a flash, a milla-second in eternity.

Think about it.

Earthquakes, catastrophic natural events and the waves crashing on the shore are all symbols of the deep parts of the physical earth yearning for redemption. You're a part of that groan, even if you're unaware. There lay within every human soul places of great depth, great knowing and great dissatisfaction that calls out to be remade and redeemed. Allow the Holy Spirit to search you today and tap into the magnificent groans that call out to the depth of God.

It's in a place of prayer where we can join with our spirit, God's spirit and all creation crying out for one another. I love that "deep cries out to deep" like two lovers who can communicate, but can't physically be with each other. As long as we see dimly, we will never stop wanting, crying and pursuing his glory and presence.

We were made for him and he for us.

Join in with the orchestra of harmonized groans and call out to God. Join creation in laboring pains, yearning and desperate pleas for redemption to take root and re-establish God's kingdom on earth.

Fraudulent Minister

2012-01-24T07:33:00.000-06:00

He looks like Jesus, talks like Jesus, but he definitely is not Jesus. He uses Scripture, appears in great beauty and even looks like every good Christian should. Who I speak of is not the Christ of Scripture, but whom I like to call the fraudulent minister. Now, I’m not one to talk very much of the evil One, yet recently I have had an awakening to the truth of God. I’ve discovered that for most of my Christ-centered journey, I have been serving a fraud, a fake, and an impostor. I discovered that I was serving a Christ that was highly conditional, annoyed by my inability to perform, and angry at my struggle for perfection.

In my recent journey I have found many believers who are miserable. They are dissatisfied with life, their spirituality and their continual searching without any finding. They’re praying, fasting and worshiping, yet it’s almost as if they’re ticked at God. I begin to probe their minds and discover their perception of the Father has been skewed. They believe that God is mad at them or doesn’t love them or the most common, God isn’t there. I listen with open eyes, but in my mind I hear scriptures flying through like, He’s slow to anger, quick to love, I will never leave you or forsake you, Even while you were sinners, Christ died for you. When I bring these truths to their attention the common response is, “I know but I just don’t feel …” My friend you have been serving a fake imitation, the evil one.

Remember the beginning? Act I opens with Adam and Eve on the scene in their paradise full of life, love and a continual atmosphere of God. Enter the fraud. He comes with a simple question, “Did God really say that?” Come on it’s too good to be true that your Creator actually cares in the most selfless way possible; you know He had ulterior motives when he created you.

The fraudulent minister’s number one objective is to look, sound and act like Jesus to deceive and confuse what our hearts know to be true about the authentic Christ. In Scripture, the devil is referred to as, “an angel of light”, “a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” “the accuser of the brethren.” His number one goal is to distort our innocent and true perception of the Father. He wants to steal and distract the redemption of our communion with God, our source of life.

I was getting ready one day for work when I heard a soft voice in my heart say, “Joey, you’re far from me.” Far from you? I’m far from God — were the thoughts that raced through my mind. I began to panic; anxiety captured me and I began to pray frantically that God would forgive me. The ironic thing is, the longer I prayed the more I became confused, alienated and fearful. I stopped and turned my ear again to that voice I heard. “Joey, you’re far from me.” This time I reached out and pulled back the mask to discover the angel of light was really the minister of darkness. As I pulled back the deception, my heart was flooded with joy and peace. I recognized for the fist time that the devil does not appear in dark smoke and lightning— he’s slick, sly and very appealing.

The evidence, which comes from the authentic Christ, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. If I begin to see other fruits coming out of my relationship with God then I know the fraud is hiding his ugly face behind a beautiful contradiction. Fruits like anger, condemnation, confusion, frustration and shame prove that something has malfunctioned in what is intended to be the most intimate and freeing experience.

I’ve complicated the Christian experience for too long with so many factors like the involvement of my will, the unseen world and the will of God. When Christ said, “My burden is light and my yoke (His religion system) is easy,” he wasn’t kidding. True life lived in Christ is easy. That’s right, I said easy. It is not complicated and drowned in a sea of obligation, denial and feeble attempts to appease God. Christ put it simple when He declared that the entire Old Testament (the law and the prophets) was summed up in the one command: to love God with all your energies. It’s living out of that place that will bring about all the other concerns of our Christian walk; purity, integrity, holiness, discipline, etc.

The simple truth of whether we are living in intimacy with the fraud or the authentic Christ is as simple as life or death. Is your spirituality producing life or death? Do your thoughts and communion with God lead you to freedom or bondage? When a thought crosses my mind and brings about shame and guilt, no matter how close it may sound like the voice of God, I do not follow it. In those moments, I surrender and confess to the Lover of my soul that I am weak and need His voice of truth that leads to liberty. And He quickly comes to dispel the lies and deceptions of the fake.

We serve a good God whose desire is to give us a future, a hope and the desire of our hearts. His mercy is eternal, His kindness is His way to repentance and His love is without condition. His advances towards us will never compare to our attempts to reach Him or please Him or whatever it is we think we can do for Him. As soon as we begin to believe anything different, may God open our eyes that we may see his light exposing the operation of the fraud, the fake, the imposter.

The Joy of Trials

2012-01-23T07:13:00.000-06:00

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
James 1: 2-4

A first reaction in any situation that presents constant pressure is to make a grand exit. It's an innate psychological responds to remove the self from anything that causes difficulty or pain. In the spiritual life, pressure on all sides has a different purpose.

In this passage of scripture, you're instructed to consider tests and challenges as a gift. Other translations use the word "joy," to describe the soul reaction to trials. Again, there is a certain level of absurdity to the spiritual life. God's wisdom once again proves to confound natural, earthly wisdom.

The reason James says that pressure on every side should produce joy is because of the knowledge that the greater the pressure, the trail or the tribulation you're undergoing in your life, the greater the exposure of the faith that is within. Without the pressure, the measure and level of potential faith that's in you may never surface.

Think of it this way.

There is only one way to build muscle in your body. You need place constant resistance on the muscle to cause it to mature and grow. The pressure, pain and consistent resistance is what increases strength in the natural body. The same is true in knowing and growing in God. Resistance in life is intended to increase and mature your faith muscle.

This is an understanding in the life of faith that requires spiritual sight. Without seeing the way God's sees, tests and challenges on all sides can cause bitterness, confusion, fear and anger. Obviously this is the fallen-nature's natural reaction; that's why it takes living by the Spirit to see the greater plan, the secret found in trails.

It's clear that there's always an option to eject from the work in progress. James encourages you to not get out of anything prematurely. Certain spiritual works are only accomplished through pain and suffering that expose the hidden gem of faith. This all goes back to living a life of surrender.

Take a moment and consider your present suffering. Evaluate how you've been reacting to it, how you process its purpose and what fruit it's producing in your life. As with most people, you probably will need to readjust your understanding and perception.

All things work together for your good. Remain in God, in hope and continue to fight the good fight. The purpose of every trial, pressure and temptation is to increase and expose faith that the work of God may be mature, well-developed and not lacking any good thing.

Broken Perceptions

2012-01-20T06:45:00.001-06:00

"Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him..." 2 Corinthians 5:17

You look very different through the eyes of God than how you see yourself. The work of Christ has transformed your inner life. The sacrifice of Christ has killed your fallen nature thousands of years ago and now the new life of God is being worked into your outworking of life on a daily basis.

As I meditate on this scripture (the whole chapter), I can hear God whispering to me, "I have no problem with you."

I don't know about you, but every so-often when I find myself in a place of low self-esteem, poor perception or feeling like I've failed, I think God is displeased with me. I can allow thoughts and perceptions of a conditional father that is also disappointed with me.

Enter - the good news.

God is not mad with you.
God has made peace with all of humanity.
There is nothing more that God has to do.
Full access, full forgiveness and full acceptance waits for you daily.
His mercy endures all things.
He never gives up - He is long-suffering with His people.
His grace is for everyone.
This is good news.

These perceptions are not born of Heaven's realities, but are fabrications and self-reflective images of a broken, malfunctioned state, not his perfect love.

God's focus and desire is not on everything that is wrong with you, all the sin issues in your life or the struggles you may have. The heart of God sees your life in a redeemed state. His desire is bring to surface of your life, your new nature, which is fully alive, fully free and fully forgiven. His perception is nothing but redemption and forgiveness.

Align your perceptions today with His perceptions. Don't allow the various voices of life, others and the evil one to dominate your thinking today. Meditate on how God sees you, how He desires you and how it's only His love that can provide freedom in areas of struggle.

The more you begin to recognize fallen perceptions you have about how you're seen by God and force your eyes to see what He sees, the more you will grow in life and maturity in Him.

Meditate on this today. Sit still for a few moments and ask God within yourself, "show me how you see me..." Continue to sit till you hear the inner witness of His Spirit breathe revelation into your person. There's nothing more that God enjoys doing than to communicate His affection for you. He loves to confirm His love for you and provide proper sight to settle your heart and inspire peace and rest in your soul.

There is nothing in this life that can do that. Money cannot buy freedom, people cannot satisfy your inner hunger and psychology can't correct your broken nature. Only God can provide these life-giving traits and He gives them freely. He simply wants relationship. He wants to be loved and to love you so that you can accurately love people (Luke 10:27). When this one principle is established in life, all other regulations, false perceptions and sin issues line-up.

Journey in Righteousness

2012-01-19T06:21:00.002-06:00

Any time I heard anyone mention the word "righteousness" or "righteousness living" I get this sinking feeling in my stomach. Condemnation, the striving attempt to do it or be it and the heaviness of the reality that I can never actually live up to righteousness. The other image that quickly comes to mind is a middle-aged baptist man that's out-of-touch and somewhat judgmental. Obviously both of these responses are not positive or attractive and major misconceptions of true righteousness.

Living in righteousness is nothing more than alignment with the proper order of creation. It's very much like the spine of the human body. If your spine is just a little off (out of alignment) it can affect virtually any part of the body such as your feet, back and neck. It's just a fact - proper alignment promotes optimal health.

This is how it is with righteousness. Participating in right actions, right thoughts and a right heart leads to proper spiritual alignment which leads to optimal health. Righteousness isn't legalism, it's actually freedom. It's us, in our broken state, recognizing which ways are broken and which ways promote healing and health.

For me, when I participate in an unrighteous act, I can feel the affects of it on my emotional and mental state. It's like taking a small drink of a poison. At first, it doesn't feel like it had any real effect but a few hours later, I'm vomiting over the toilet. When I choose an unrighteous way, I feel insecure, angry and out of control, very much like my spine is out of alignment. When I participate in righteous acts (the way God ordered things) my soul is filled with light, clarity and hope.

This paradigm shift has released great levels of freedom over the way I live and choices I make. When I understand the motive of God's heart of disdain and hatred towards unrighteousness is the same disdain I have towards sickness with my own children, I get it. God's aggression towards unrighteous acts and living is fueled by furious love, not a legalistic spirit of law with no grace. To him, unrighteousness is a caner, a poison that has the potential to destroy his creation. Light bulb! That's it - it's his love and desire for me to live a life to its fullest. What a breath of fresh air and the freedom to live righteously.

Part of the journey in discovering the truth of righteousness lead me to Romans and Hebrews. It's here that I continued to realized that righteousness in God's sight isn't simply the avoidance of sin. Instead, righteousness has more to do with my belief in Christ - in God's kindness - than my good deeds.

It's here that I see that faith is the main requirement or ingredient, not being "good." Paul makes it clear that my righteousness is as dirty rags and that we're justified by faith. The Bible says that it was by faith that Rahab, Abraham and others were justified in God's sight. Faith that God's promise is true, that God will do what he has said and that God's character is trustworthy.

For example, when I sin I can feel the presence of shame, guilt and death. My natural response is condemn myself and wallow in my failure. This response says that I am unrighteous and have fallen. Yet, somewhere in the midst of despair I remember Him. Once my eyes behold him, I suddenly realize it's not about my failure, it's about his grace.

In that moment righteousness is born - not of my own doing - but by my faith that Christ's mercy is able to reach me even in the pig pen. It's my faith in God (his faithfulness, kindness and ability to forgive) that transforms into righteousness.

It's here I realize that righteousness vs. unrighteousness has more to do with my perception and beliefs about God than my good deeds. It's putting things in proper order - once I have the proper sight to see God and believe in his kindness, then the overflow of my life is good deeds. It's this proper alignment that spurs on a life of holiness, not the other way around.

Faith, Hope & Love - A Prayer

2012-01-18T06:51:00.002-06:00

"These things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

In the silent, secret place of your heart join with this prayer:

God, today may you breathe greater revelation in our souls to live by the reality of the eternal. Give us eyes to see beyond our nominal, human exsistence into the celestrial exsistence that is more real than the life we live. May we strive to seek the knowledge of your will before we move, before we talk, before we journey from this place.

Restore faith to those who are plagued by fear and anxiety. Remove the smoke screen and expose the liar who is provoking unbelief and terror. Give back vision to your Bride that she may walk in the light and see that your heart is good and perfect. Grace her with true faith that conquers the Red Sea, the inability to walk on water and the audacity to push through a crowd just to touch your hem.

Give hope to the hopeless for you are our glory and lifter of our head. Give a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness and fill our hearts with the Holy Spirit. Peer into the dark places of the hopeless soul with a spark - a spark of light, a flicker, a flame. Ignite a fire of passionate hope rooted in the knowledge of your love and your coming Kingdom. That every day is getting better because it's one day closer to your return.

Shower us with love. Purify us and remind us that love is more powerful than the grave. That love covers a multitude of sins and has the power to rescue. Make love the foundation and cornerstone of your Church again. Remind us that others will know we are your people because of the great love we will have for one another. Rid us of division, hatred and competition. Convict us deeply of our failure to love perfectly and fill us with the ability to love as you have loved us.

Your ways are not our ways, yet we trust you. We wait patiently for you and we are strengthened in the eternal realities that surround us even when we are unaware. Build us up today on the foundation of that which is not seen and that which is immortal - faith, hope and love.

Trouble is Inevitable

2012-01-17T07:02:00.000-06:00

The psalmist uses the phrase, "to this I will appeal," referring to thoughts of frustration and unknowing that were clouding his faith and knowledge. The complexities, difficulty and anxiety of being hunted for kill was haunting him. I love this phrase because I can identify with him in his anguish; we all can.

Jesus said that in life we are going to face trouble. He knew it was inevitable. You can only live so long in an existence that has rebelled against its maker and creation before trouble comes knocking at your door.

Throughout my life, being raised in the church, I've noted that many believers are surprised or become bitter at God or others when various troubles come their way. I can identify with these feelings, just as David did in Psalm 77, but David didn't allow the initial emotion of frustration to dictate his reaction to the trouble.

Take a moment to read Psalm 77.

Here David is questioning God. He is asking God if God has forgotten him, rejected him or removed His love from him. It's obvious that he is depressed, experiencing some sort of mental anguish and is in great distress. After pouring his heart out to God for a few moments, he then hears what his heart it communicating. He pauses and then proclaims, "To this I will appeal...".

The following verses of his poem are determinations to remember God's deeds, to to meditate on God's work and to stir up a grateful and God-fearing heart. He understands that his present affliction is nothing compared to the realities that are to come when all passes away. His eyes suddenly transition from the temporal trouble and shift to the eternal.

I love that Jesus was always attempting to redirect the human race to stop investing in what will burn, die and rot (Matthew 6:19-21). At times it difficult to make the shift; to stop looking at everything right in front of you, but when you determine to change what you're looking at, suddenly the song of your heart will fill with glory, hope and clear internal sight.

This is what Jesus was getting at when he said to build your life on the rock (Matthew 7:24-29). Obviously, Jesus was talking about himself as the rock, but also all that He represented. The rock to build on encompasses sowing in righteousness, structuring your life in faith and creating a savings account in heaven, not just on the earth.

It's not very difficult to lose heart if your focus is on this present reality. If you focus on your life, where it's going and how much you don't have or still need to accomplish, discouragement isn't too far from your heart's door. Determine to shift your eyes and affections towards what will not perish; the essence of love. When you find your heart listing off everything that's going wrong with life - pause. Gather your inner thoughts and respond as David, "to this I will appeal..." And then begin to sing of His great love, grace and mercy that never fails.

Roots

2012-01-16T09:24:00.000-06:00

I met a man.

We talked about trees,
Wind.
Roots.
It was eye-opening, enlightening - revelatory.

We talked about life and how dry and arid it has been,
spiritually.
emotionally.
mentally.

Then he told me story.

He told me about the trees in west Texas, where he's from. He said when he first moved to Florida he was confused why everyone was panicking on the news about 85 mile an hour winds. He said in TX people don't fret till the winds reach 135 or so.

The storm hit.

He then understood.

When the storm had passed he walked outside to discover the trees had fallen or were ripped out of the ground. This is what he said,
"Joey, I realized the trees in Florida don't have to look for water because it is so wet here. In west Texas, it is so dry that the roots are forced to look deeper to find water and therefore grow stronger and handle much higher winds."
It was then I felt the grace of God. He's not only with me in the desert - he lead me here for my growth and own good.

I realized through this brief conversation that everything in my life is for greater purpose. The dry times, times of plenty, times of desperation and times of rejoicing are all intended to take my roots deeper into the love and revelation of the knowledge of God.

It's difficult to hear the message of heaven in all circumstances, unless you determine to find it. When your heart becomes overwhelmed, discouraged or fearful begin to ask and seek out the answer to this question; "God, what are you saying in this situation?" Begin to thank Him for the trial and place Him above the circumstance, mental funk or whatever it may be. He is faithful to show you exactly what He's doing for your own good and growth.

You have no control over certain aspects of life - you only have control on how you respond to them.

Allow God to deepen your roots today by embracing His message and not allowing the waves of life to dictate your belief system.

No Longer Slaves

2012-01-13T06:20:00.001-06:00

“I refuse to be a slave when I am intended to be a friend...”

Those words fell from my lips and landed in the depths of my heart. I was talking to God, of course, and contending at that. I was frustrated because I lived as a slave, bound by my own legalistic confinements of prayer, fasting and Bible reading. I had forgotten that I am a friend of God. My usual routine of obligatory spiritual rhetoric began tasting stale and extremely unpleasant to my truth-seeking heart. I knew something was not right in connecting with God because I would walk away from my times of prayer and fasting frustrated, confused and very unsatisfied. I would wonder, “Didn’t Christ say He came to give life in the fullest capacity?” I knew I was living on “E” when it came to fulfillment in my walk with Him, so I began to search deep inside myself.

This was the beginning of my discovery of the hopeless romantic I had missed in God. I can’t imagine what it would feel like if my wife handed me a list on our wedding day of requirements I had to fulfill in order to prove my love to her. Things like, buy flowers every week, make breakfast on Saturday mornings and say “I love you” at least five times daily. Even if I lived up to that list of expectations, my love would not be authentic because I was required to give those gifts regardless of the desire in my heart. After a few weeks of fulfilling the requirements, they would become more of a burden than an act of affection. I would be my wife’s slave and not her lovesick companion.

The Father’s desire is for you, even in your weakest and darkest hour. His love is constantly searching and yearning to simply be with you. It is His pursuit that has awakened the deep desire to serve Him with unrestricted love. The key to discovery? Give up! Give up? Like throw the towel in, quit, peace-out? Exactly. Isn’t giving up synonymous for surrender? I had to stop trying so hard to please God and instead, began to listen to the desire of my heart that was craving His touch.

I had to stop doing and start being. The very fact that I was made in His image and for His glory means that by simply existing in an awareness of my deep desire for Him, I was connecting at deeper levels with the heart of God than when I would force myself to pray for an hour.

God does not have a list of requirements for you. He does not get upset when I don’t punch in on my quiet time clock or forget to fast the first Monday of every month. He desires your heart to be awakened to His love and in return produce greater love, which causes my heart to actively pursue Him. It's when this adoration, desire and affection is first priority in your life that all those other spiritual acts become an overflow of devoted love and not obligation.

Now my prayer, fasting and Bible reading are my end and no longer my means of attempting to evoke God’s presence. The spiritual disciplines are now fruits of a heart that is obsessed with loving God. I no longer live in confusion, guilt and shame, but now I serve my Love in liberty and freedom. I now have a greater understanding of what Christ meant when He said, "no longer do I call you slaves ... but I have called you friends” (John 15:15).

Unveiling the First Sin

2012-01-12T07:17:00.000-06:00

The citizens of Earth are familiar with the first sin. No matter what religion, walk of life or country someone is from, everyone knows about Adam and Eve. Everyone has heard about the forbidden fruit, the fall of man and the banishment from paradise. The first sin reveals a lot about the human heart and the trickery of the fallen one. It demonstrates how he uses pleasure, the word of God and human senses to lure you into temptation and ultimately rebellion from natural law.

If you ask the average person, “what was the first sin?” they may reply with, “Eve ate an apple, Adam and Eve didn’t listen to God’s instructions or man rebelled against God,” of which all statements are true, but to stop there misses the birthplace of sin. These are the actions or reactions to a deeper movement that’s transpiring in Eve’s heart. Take a deeper look into this conversation. Read each word, meditate on it and ask the Spirit to reveal reason Eve took action to the temptation. Sin begins when seeds of doubt enter the heart of human flesh.

Take a look in your Bible at Genesis, chapter 3, where you will find Adam, Eve and God co-existing in harmony and satisfaction. Obviously, Adam and Eve could eat from any tree in the entire garden, expect for the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. This tree was forbidden, for their own good. The phrase that rings out in this dialogue between the serpent and the woman is, “did God really say?” This was the first statement we ever see from the lips of evil. Not only is the serpent questioning the words God used, but he’s attempting to question the heart of God.

The woman replies to the serpent with the command of God. She says verbatim what her instructions were. She was clear on what God said and how she needed to avoid, not only eating the fruit but even touching it. She concludes her statement with God said, “you must not touch it, or you will die.” Immediately, the serpent contends, “You will not certainly die…” He blatantly disagrees with God’s command to plant doubt in her heart. Eve has never questioned God. She’s never doubted that her maker wouldn’t be truthful with her. Like natural children listen to their parents every word without logically thinking about it in innocence, because they trust that mom and dad are there to take care of them, so they just obey.

Here, for the first time, Eve is confronted with the possibility that maybe God was not being truthful with her and Adam. The serpent doesn’t stop there. Now that he’s opposed the command of God, he goes on to distort the character of God. He follows this initial statement with, “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, an you will like God.” The serpent in essence is saying, “God is withholding from you. He’s actually tricking you because He knows if you eat from this tree you will be like him.” The serpent tells Eve that God isn’t loving, kind and caring, He is deceiving you and tricking you to keep you limited.

Imagine what she was thinking during this conversation. I’m sure she pondering these things, allowing the seeds of doubt, fear and the possibility to be like God to grow. As she ponders these ideas, the seed grows in her heart. Her foundation of who God is weakens and then the last stage before temptation develops into sin; enticement. The next thing Genesis tells us is that the woman looked at the fruit and saw that it was pleasing visually and desirable for gaining wisdom. It’s here that she crosses the line of temptation, giving birth to sin.

God comes to find Adam and Eve, but for a strange reason, they’re no where to be found. He calls out to them, “where are you?” He finds them hiding, covering their nakedness and afraid of Him. This fruit of fear and shame is the connecting point that leads God to the conclusive question, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree?”

All sin is rooted is selfishness. Sin is the result of serving yourself and placing your needs and wants above God and other people. Think about it, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, sexual deviance, murder, drunkenness, stealing, lying and pride are all the extremities of loving the self more than loving God. Eve ate the fruit for herself. She wasn’t motivated to help Adam or please God. She wanted what the fruit appeared to have.

After that first bite, the rest of history was written. God curses the serpent and prophesies about the coming of a man from a woman that would crush His head. God curses humanity and expels them from the safety of Eden, of which we will all know one day after the end of the age.

Take this situation and apply it to the sin-tendencies you experience in your life. Although you may think your behavior is the problem, it’s actually the end result of distortion of God’s heart, a twisting of God’s goodness and delusion that the temptation in front of you will provide greater satisfaction, wisdom and power in your life. The next time you’re tempted remember the main objective of the fallen one is to distort the character of God, to pervert you vision of Him and plant seeds of doubt, fear and speculation that what God has said and who is isn’t really His essence.

The story of the fall of man was a great tragedy in the context of the creation story, but take a moment and ponder that this story occurs millions, if not trillions of times daily on the planet. That’s like experiencing the pain of divorce every milla-second of life and choosing to forgive every time, only the sting of the divorce doesn’t subside with time. Every day, Christian and unbeliever, all over the world experience temptation and choose to rebel against God. Living with a daily revelation of this enormous reality, helps your heart and mind realize how amazing the grace of God is.

You have a tree that’s forbidden in your heart. Places that are appealing, pleasurable and deviant, calling for you to just touch it or a small bite. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is imprinted in the human soul’s DNA. Not until you are free from this life will you rid yourself of the tree in the middle of the garden. Till then God uses our sin to demonstrate His love, forgiveness and how He can work everything together, even sin, for those love Him.

Lucifer was created to give glory to God. His purpose in the created order was to continually provide adoration, worship and glory before the Uncreated One. Nothing of that order has changed. Although Lucifer has fallen and now attempts to lie and deceive to destroy your life, his attempts are thwarted by God. God still uses the work of the fallen one to provide adoration, worship and glory before God. Remember the devil is created by God, therefore God’s intelligence and rule can never actually be overthrown.

It’s the war Paul spoke of when he stated, “I do what I don’t want to do and don’t do what I want to do…” in Romans 7:15. It’s what Tolken was illustrating with the ring in his trilogy that each human can relate to. It’s what Christ faced in His wilderness experience and conquered the tree by not giving in to it.

Exposing Judgement

2012-01-11T06:18:00.002-06:00

You’ve made judgments that have become a part of your identity that affect the way you see yourself and other people. These judgments run in the background of your mind and influence the way you process information, handle conflict and the depth of your love. It’s the place within yourself that places conditions on yourself and other people. Although you would like to believe that you are free from making judgments, as you journey through the desert, each layer and belief will be stripped to reveal your authentic self, found in nothing and no one else but Christ.

James is clear that the law in which you’ve been judged is the law of love. It’s the law that followers of Christ are instructed to judge. This law is full of mercy, patience, pardoning, suffering, peace and welcoming. This law has no smell of condemnation, regret or heaviness. Instead, this law releases the gift of repentance, change and hope for the future. Part of the process of the desert is to remove other laws that you’ve learned to operate with, such as pride, selfishness and comparison.

For most people letting go of control is one of the most difficult things to do because it requires faith, trust and risk. God may send you to places or certain events to transpire in your life for the purpose of clothing you with humility, lowliness and meekness. For example, you may have been raised in a middle class family and you suddenly find yourself without a job, having to live off food stamps and declaring bankruptcy as you look for work. In an instant the judgment that you’ve made on people who need government assistance is staring you in the mirror.

Judgments typically come to the foreground of the mind in phrases, such as “that’s not me…”, “I could never do that…” or “why does he act like that?”. Many times God will direct your steps right into the position or place where you’ve made judgments to expose inner pride lurking in the shadows of your soul. When confronted with this experience, you will have the opportunity to choose one of two ways. You can become bitter, resentful and angry because the judgments that you’ve made have now fallen on you and can’t stand the weight of the declaration of what that means. The other reaction is one of humility, where you recognize that the devastation you feel is directly linked to judgments within yourself. This reaction causes repentance, which cleanses and pardons you from the judgment so you can fully enter into it and overcome.

The first few experiences in the desert like this are commonly difficult because it’s a new perspective and may have never viewed your life like this before. Under the leading of the Holy Spirit, you will eventually begin to recognize these types of events and you will open handily receive them without as much as a fight. You will begin to understand that during difficult situations, God is speaking to you. He is leading you to places of refinement for your own freedom, so that you can live a life that is full of satisfaction, purity of mind and ultimately perfected love.

You may not realize it but many of your judgments have caged you in and restricted your life. They have prevented you from building deep relationships, caused you to give freely without a return and ultimately they’ve infested your inner life with pride and arrogance. Judgments provide you with the false sense of control and safety, but in the end inner judgments separate you from the human race, from intimacy and true brotherhood.

As you journey through the desert and allow the Spirit to have His way, you will find yourself becoming more and more attractive to other people. Your spirit will begin to shine like the light of the world you’re intended to be. You will find that fighting, quarrels and gossip soon dry up in your life. Spiritual prejudice will be exposed and you may find yourself listening to a wide range of preachers and teachers, not making judgments, such as, “oh, they’re catholic, too charismatic, too traditional or too trendy “. You learn that everyone is in process and has issues, short-comings and doesn’t have every doctrine of the universal church down to a science. You learn to bear with others, identify with suffering and weakness and understand that your purpose in the earth is to help deliver the truth of God to others. The worldview of your spirit turns from being inward to outward.

Take your judgments, hold them in your hand and let them go. Release them to God and allow Him to be the Great Judge with justice and truth as His foundations. Take the step out of the box of confinement and begin to join humanity in their struggle with imperfection, challenge and the need of a savior.

God in Unknowing

2012-01-10T10:33:00.002-06:00

You may think that faith is grown or accomplished in mental agreement, such as choosing to agree with something found in scripture. Faith is not blind, but it sees all things and in seeing all things enables the human heart to rise above what is seen and declare what is not seen. Faith is not ignorance, nor is it ignoring what is reality. It’s not simply quoting scripture or prayers or even taking action. Faith is a movement in the soul that chooses to risk in face of what is unknown and unseen.

You may often ask God to increase your faith without fully understanding what you’re asking Him for. Faith is produced and strengthened in the absence of full understanding, in questioning, in darkness. Faith grows in conflict in the commitment to press through difficult circumstances and to not give up. Faith is commonly cultivated in places of pressure, resistance and difficulty. Take another look at your prayer for greater faith and then look at your current afflictions through that lens.

The desire is for it to be easy, without effort or conflict, yet what your souls really needs is constant testing, confrontation and questioning. In this fallen state it's too common for the soul to slowly find its way back to our "default", to serve and love ourselves more than God and other people.

We're broken and we desperately need fixed. We want to resist, and many times even run from those dark nights of the soul when all that is felt is cold, darkness and uncertainty... yet it is in those very moments that faith and love are given greater strength and authority. When the soul can journey on even when it's dark and rainy and pressing against the wind, then the light of the flickering flame of love can grow in intensity and heat. It's when we're placed in the middle of doubt, accusation and confusion that we're given the opportunity to choose the way of the God and proclaim within, "I will trust in the Lord at all times..."

When we choose like that, a new authority and strength is conquered in the soul. It's in the face of opposition and confrontation that all the great wars and victories have been won throughout the centuries. This is why the great saints of old gladly welcomed the "dark night of the soul." They knew what it would produce and for the joy set before them, they endured the will of the Father which was death, even death on a cross.

God desires to expand your borders of faith. You have limitations you’ve placed on God and so do I. Your current place of faith is confined to how far you think God will take you. Recently, I was having a hard time with a certain area of my life and a leader in my church said to me, “your faith is limited and God wants to stretch your borders.” He went on to communicate that if you look at great men and women in the Bible, faith goes beyond what manifests itself in this life. For example, Abraham and many others never saw the promises God made to them fulfilled in their lifetime and Jesus had to go beyond the grave and bring people back to life a few times.

You may find yourself at a brink, a breaking point where you feel that your faith has come to an end. This is the place God is desiring to use to expand your belief in Him and your capacity to know the depths of His heart. Once your come to this place of emptiness and you feel that you cannot go any further, it’s time to grow in faith. This means that with your mouth you confess what you know is true about God in spite of your adversity; that God is good, He is for you and He is with you. Confess these truths until your heart aligns with your words. The Spirit will infuse your soul in the confessions of your mouth and birth life in your heart. As you declare who God is in the midst of your suffering, you will know the intimate places of God’s presence.

Every believer is called to this place but few find it because it's the hidden treasure only found by those who seek with all their heart and who are willing to surrender and believe the goodness of God can and is found in the unknown, the unseen and the uncomfortable. It's only found by those who don't trust in religion, or theology or human reasoning... His ways are higher and they confound the wise of the earth.

Thank God for the darkness, for the unknown, for the accusation and constant attempts to weaken faith, for all of this is used to strengthen and refine. This is the fascinating truth of God that in unknowing, we know.

Grateful in Lack

2012-01-09T06:18:00.000-06:00

I have vivid memories of when gratitude first visited me on my journey through the desert. It was a few months after I had lost my job in 2009 and I had no other choice but to live off of credit cards, which quickly created a heap of debt there was no way I could repay. I was angry, frustrated and confused at why everything I ever had was being stripped from me.

I felt isolated, alone and as if I had amounted to nothing more than failure. I wasn’t in a prayerful or thankful place when the Spirit spoke to me in a whisper. He said, “thank me.” I took a double take within myself and kept on going throughout my day in misery. My mind was spinning a million thoughts in a mino-second, “thank you for what? My life is falling to pieces and I have nothing to show for myself. I can’t even support my family…” Without flinching, the Spirit again whispered, “thank me.”

It took a few hours before the kindness of God’s voice penetrated my heart and took root in part of me that was soft and ready for His way of peace. At first, the only things I could thank Him for was the most obvious things, such as that I have a roof over my head, I thanked Him for my wife and kids and for not having to live with a terminal illness. I then began to thank Him for Christ, for life in Him and for the life that is to come when this existence passes away. Before I knew it, the trickle of gratitude turned into a river of gushing tears, warmth of heart and the knowledge of God’s goodness.

After this simple interaction with the Divine, I started listening more and responding to each situation with gratitude. Whenever we could afford to go to the grocery store, I would come home with the bags and gather the family. We would join hands and from a genuine and desperate place within, I would lead us in thanking God for providing food for us.

Up until this point in my life, praying before meals was arbitrary and somewhat meaningless. I had never known what it was to potentially not have food to eat or even more alarming food for my family. As I would interact with God on behalf of my family in thanking Him for food, lightness would enter my soul. I could feel the pleasure of God on me and His grace would carry me.

I soon realized that gratitude was an entry point to access the grace of God. In all situations I began to thank God. I started thanking Him for everything. My inner man would bend a knee and submit my soul in abandonment before Him and whisper back to Him, “thank you.” Soon my gratitude expanded into all areas of my life. I was no longer just thanking Him for blessing and provision, but for trial, difficulty and devastation. Gratitude became my safe guide that my white-knuckled fists grabbed onto for dear life.

When I was mistreated, I thanked God.
When I was hungry, I thanked God.
When I wasn’t able to pay my electric bill, I gave thanks.
When my emotions were worn out and I would sin in anger, I would thank Him.

The natural human reaction to difficult situations is to complain and take up the right to become defensive and jealous of others who have what you’re lacking. You may find yourself asking people for prayer, but in your asking you discover that your plea is based in a fear and not faith. After talking to a few people you feel that your panic level has increased, not decreased. This is when you need to stop and sit in silence before your Maker and whispers many thanks.

Grumbling and complaining are the enemies of gratitude. These two imposter companions will most likely make it to you before gratitude does because they’re more attractive and may provide temporary justice in your eyes, but quickly add more weight to the load you’re already carrying.

It’s amazing that the journey in the wilderness that Israel traveled could have taken less than 2 weeks, but instead took 40 years. The reason the journey took so long was because of their ungrateful and complaining hearts. They chose to grumble and complain about everything, including all the miraculous provisions that God gave. This state of spirit cost everyone in the nation, including Moses who was not permitted to enter the promise land because of His anger and lack of trust with God.

Gratitude produces the opposite fruit of complaining. Giving thanks in all things causes lightness of heart, trust, increased faith and provides unlimited access to experience the tangible grace of God. Thankfulness is the action of coming into alignment with the Kingdom of Heaven proclaiming God’s goodness and faithfulness in spite of circumstance. Gratitude causes you to be gracious with what you have. Instead of holding onto every penny or piece of bread you have, you freely give it away knowing that God is your provider.

Gratitude is the most powerful when you’re at the brink of panic, anxiety and worry. It has the most authority when you can look your trouble, your lack and your fear straight in the eyes and proclaim with shaky legs and a convinced heart, “thank you God!” If you recognize that you’ve come to the edge and then remember to the spirit of thankfulness, open your mouth and start offering sacrificial gratitude, you will experience the heart, presence and intimate touch of God.

Inescapable Divinity

2012-01-06T06:10:00.000-06:00

"...for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children.'"
Acts 17:28

This statement is the essence of surrender. It's the foundation of understanding the Sovereignty and Majesty of God. He is over all things, in all things and always with us.

The poets and philosophers during the 1st Century in Athens held this saying as one of their own. They held this saying as a reason, an explanation for idolatry. In Athens the people were impressed and qualified by their knowledge and their ability to speak. In this passage, the Holy Spirit enables Paul to speak with authority and revelation of the "unknown God," reclaiming this well-known phrase for the purposes of the one true God.

The redemption of this phrase in ancient Athens provides us with insight into the glory of the One who has made all things.

No one is safe from God's kindness, no one is protected from Good News and no one can come face-to-face with Holiness and deny Him. The whispers of God are everywhere! They're in the physical Earth, groaning, rumbling and contenting. They're in the joy of a newborn baby, in the sweetness of reconciliation and in the mundane duties of life.

Thomas Merton gives such beautiful imagery to this in his book, New Seeds of Contemplation. He says that every moment of every day millions of seeds fall on the heart of every person but very few of those seeds find fertile soil and take root. The more we align our subconscious, our inner thoughts and meditation on the reality that God is essentially everywhere, at all times and in all things, the more these seeds find a home that they can sprout.

The beauty with the inner life is that you can be in traffic, in the middle of a hectic day or feeding your kids and you can slow down your inner-most parts and begin to meditate on this profound revelation; in Him we live and move and exist. Saying this a few times in your mind will suddenly provide heaven's breath, reality and revelation that He is.

When you move, when you breathe, when simply exist - He is there.

Think about this for a moment. God is closer than the air your breathe or the skin you live in. Whatever you do today remember, He is not only present but that He is intimately "in" everything you do. The more this understanding takes root in the soil of your heart, the more respect, honor and reverence will fill the monotony of your day. The fruit of living in this revelation leads to the fruit of the greatest commandment; love God with everything you are and love each other the same way.

As you end this post, repeat these words in your mind a few times over until understanding, openness and dialogue between you and the Creator flows.

"In Him we live and move and exist".

Prayer and Conception

2012-01-05T05:38:00.000-06:00

Prayer is like conception.

I'm fascinated with the whole idea of creating life. It's mind boggling that small, alien-like cells flow from me to my wife, find an egg in waiting, fight to enter and finally in one split second a human child is conceived! How does this happen? It's a mystery - no matter how modern science and technology become - this will always remain a mystery.

Prayer can be likened to conception. In those moments of intimacy with him he sends forth the seed of his word to find fertile soil in waiting. When the seed finds the fertile ground, it takes root and brings forth life.

Just like with conception, there is typically a long incubating period where the egg must mature, grow and develop into the baby it's intended to be. If the growing baby was removed from the womb premature, the chances of the baby not surviving or having severe complications is pretty high. The fetus needs to stay hidden, protected and in the secret place of the womb to properly grow.

This is how it is with prayer. God speaks and in that moment our human heart jumps to the end of the process... we want to see a baby, but it going to take nine months of growth, waiting and quietness before the fully mature baby is able to come forth.

The waiting that's required in prayer can cause you to lose heart easily because society and the modern world have made everything too simple and accessible. Waiting on God is intended to increase your faith and cause your sight of what is unseen to become more clear. Waiting on God is interesting because it's not like waiting for bus at a bus stop. Waiting on God is not inactive. Waiting on God is the constant knocking, seeking, asking, pressing and persisting in a place of belief that produces peace, not anxiousness. The Bible says that as you wait on God, your strength is renewed, not depleted.

The test of the human heart is just this. If prayer is rooted in a place of fear or self-seeking, the fruit is evident - lack, frustration, anger, bitterness, impatience and hopelessness. When the act of waiting on God is rooted in worship, faith and desire for His will, it will produce the fruit of the spirit - peace, long-suffering, love, patience, kindness, etc.

Prayer is a glorious grace that requires faithfulness, patience and protection in the secret place of God's heart. Do not grow weary or impatient because the longer we wait, the more accurately and developed his word with become until there's no other option but to push!

Strength in Weakness

2012-01-02T06:01:00.000-06:00

There is absurdity in the spiritual life. Jesus made many paradoxical statements, such as “the last will be first,” “give everything away in order to receive” and “lose your life to gain it.” It’s getting passed what we see and allowing our spirits to view the greater life that is found in heavenly places that we begin to understand the mysteries of the Kingdom.

If Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that God’s strength is made perfect in your weakness, then why do you run from your weakness? Why is it that you try to cover it up, make believe it’s not there and convince yourself that your weakness isn’t really apart of our life? When you come to the place of receiving the weakness in your life, it is then that you will begin to see the miraculous and glory of God. Take a step today and admit that you are powerless and that God holds all things in His hands; tell Him with the movement of your heart and confession of your lips that you need Him.

The current of our culture when it comes to weakness is to make the shell appealing, perfect and a bit mysterious. For most of my early life I attempted to dress-up my shell to attract acceptance and promote perfection. My outward shell was put together, yet my inner life was fully armed with defenses to protect my heart. I learned how to avoid situations that could trigger insecurity. In the depth of my soul I was looking for onlookers to stay away, be impressed with what I was putting out and someone worship this exterior of mystery. I was well on my way to the life showcased by celebrities of our modern world or the gods of ancient days.

Weakness was avoided at all costs because it was vulnerable and emotionally overwhelming. As I aged and continued my journey into adulthood, the words of Paul started haunting me that God’s strength is perfected in my weakness. If I kept my weakness from myself and others, then what opportunity was there to know and experience the strength of God? I was stealing from myself and from the glory of the uncreated One.

As walls slowly come down, the heart begins to soften and trust that He will not harm you, nor will he misuse you. My weaknesses have now become a platform for my strength in God. I’ve come to understand that true confidence and strength come from a place of weakness, brokenness and vulnerability. Shame is burnt up in the flame of God’s passionate love and insecurity finds a home in the shadows the secrete place.

There’s a secret, a freedom and liberty in weakness. The more weakness is embraced in the light of God’s strength, the more we become comfortable with imperfection, failure and our certain lack. Paul concludes from his statement that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness with, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Paul takes it bit further than you may be comfortable with. He not only accepts the weakness in himself but he chooses to boasts in it. He uses it as a platform to build on. He takes the limitations, the opposition, the inability he faces and says, “ I will no longer fight you! Instead, I will allow God to use you to demonstrate His greatness and faithfulness.” The weakness is no longer feared in this heavenly perspective, but it is rather embraced for the forging of God’s Kingdom on earth.

Take a moment to face yourself. If you’re comfortable with ignoring or dismissing certain aspects of your soul, psyche or inner-life, create a space within yourself and for maybe the first time, invite your weakness to sit before you. Look at those decrepit and broken parts of yourself and comes to terms that what you’re looking at is what God wants to use to demonstrate His strength. Doing this allows you to not only face fear and make peace with yourself, but it enables the truth of heaven to spring forth freedom. As you allow the Holy Spirit to strip away the onion peal layers of your soul, you will find yourself coming into a greater level of honesty with yourself and others. People will notice a difference in the energy you put out when they’re around you. Instead of people responding to insecurities, shame and pride, they will soon sense a free space where they are welcomed and feel the warmth of God’s bright light of His glory.

In this place the fruits of the Spirit naturally flow from within and you will fulfill of God’s law, to love Him with everything and to love others in the same way you love yourself. Walking in peace with yourself and with God is the Father’s desire for you, it’s the goal of redemption and the new creation that is to come. In the midst of anything you can find internal peace and calm knowing that you are an instrument for God’s using to demonstrate Himself in the earth.

Walk away from the spiritual fashion and beauty industry that attempts to cover-up the flaws and impurities with futile clothing and make up. Allow your soul to stand before God broken, weak and in need. In that state, He will provide supernatural strength and grace to love him, others and yourself.

“FORGIVEN” MUCH MAKES YOU A LOVER

2011-12-30T07:04:00.001-06:00

There’s a story in Luke 7 about Jesus eating with the Pharisees at a house and a sinful woman interrupts the meal weeping at Christ’s feet. Take a moment and read the story. The declarations made in this passage are life-changing but commonly go unseen because of familiarity. The story is most likely one you’ve heard before, but take a moment and give this interaction more depth and personal relevance to your life.

First, Jesus was having a meal with the religious leaders, which is a formal and intimate event in Jewish culture. Second, a woman, who was perceived as less than by gender along busts through the door an emotional mess. Luke makes it clear that this wasn’t any woman, but a sinful woman. She was known the town or region for her unrighteous lifestyle.

She knew what she was doing when she embarked on this desperate cry. She knew she was going into a Pharisee’s house, which according to the law in which they lived by, she should be put to death. Her desire to taste the sweetness of forgiveness’s freedom was stronger than the fear of facing the death sentence. As if interpreting this dignified dinner wasn’t enough, she proceeds to wail at Jesus’ feet, wiping and kissing his feet with her tears and breaking the most valuable thing she owns, which was perceived by the disciples as a waste of money (Matthew 26).

Put yourself in this woman’s shoes. She lived in a time where not only did she have to live with the guilt, shame and condemnation of her sin, but the religious system was there to remind her and bind her even further. In her eyes, there was no hope of leaving this cycle of selling herself. The sin she committed for years was a done deal. It didn’t matter if she asked for forgiveness because forgiveness wasn’t available for her. She had no option, no high priest and no way of redemption. Then she hears about a Rabbi that comes in the name of the Lord and is proclaiming the year of God’s favor, who is forgiving men of their sins.

She probably couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The warmth of the sheer though could take her breathe away. This would mean she wouldn’t have to die in sin, this would mean there was not only a way out but a way to get rid of the stains that have chained her heart. In a moments time, she can’t take it anymore. The desire, the need to be forgiven by this kind prophet overwhelms her and she runs with her might directly into the den of her accusers and finds Him. She doesn’t ask if she can come in – honestly, she doesn’t care. All she knows is that if she can just get to Him, everything will be nullified. Her inner spirit jumps with the knowledge that He is the Christ, the one who can overcome sin and death and extravagantly throws herself down on the floor to find refuge.

In this moment, Simon, one of the Pharisee’s, says to himself, “If Jesus was really a prophet, he would know the type of woman that’s touching him.”

Then the genius of God speaks again through the pages of your Bible. Jesus uses this situation as an object lesson for His dinner party. He asks Simon to decide who would love more, someone who is forgiven a few bucks of dept or someone that’s forgiven $150k of debt. An obvious answer, the one with the larger debt will love the one who pardons the debt more.

Now, something to think about that has always caught my attention about this situation. Jesus does most of the talking in this passage to the Pharisee’s, not to the woman. Who is actually more sinful in this scenario? Is the woman who is very aware of her sin or is the self-righteous onlookers who don’t think they need a savior? In essence, Jesus is making the statement, you could know the love of God much, but you don’t realize just how much of a debt you owe.

This is why it’s hard for me to relate to people who say, “well, I haven’t really don’t anything that bad to know the depth of God’s love.” My reply is, “yes you have; you are just living with self-righteous blinders on.” Coming to terms with the honest reality of your fallen state will unlock greater revelation of the love of God. As long as you continue to perceive yourself as “good,” you will never venture into the depth of the love of God.

This is good news, not only for the woman at Christ’s feet, but for you. The fallen one wants to hold your sin over your head and cause you to feel the heaviness of what you’ve done wrong, but the intelligence of God overrides his accusations and uses them to demonstrate His glory. Instead of your sin causing greater condemnation, it actually provides you with the opportunity to know the love God deeper. All of a sudden you get a little more sight of just how deep God’s love really is. You suddenly experience the increase of grace, not the hopelessness of sin’s sick cycle.

At the conclusion of this story, not only does Jesus give the woman what she has thought her entire life as impossible, the forgiveness of sin, but he tells her, “Your faith as saved you; go in peace.” She’s not only provided pardoning; she’s also given salvation and inward peace with God and man.

The next time you find yourself wrestling off the voices of accusation and condemnation, flip the script, like Jesus did. Take your wrong doing, your malfunction, your sin and use it to ignite deeper revelation of the grace and love of God to infiltrate your inner life. Allow yourself to honestly confess that you are broken and in need of Him. Run to the only one who has power to pardon you and provide you with salvation and peace.

Into Darkness

2011-12-29T05:52:00.003-06:00

Did you ever wonder about the beginning of the earth? Why is it that when we meet the planet for the first time in scripture it’s a mess? The Bible is clear that the earth was without form and void. Not only didn’t it have an identity, but darkness covered its face.

I’ve heard all the theological reasons, the speculations and theories of why the earth was in this state, but for me I’m not concerned about theories. I simply see a profound and poetic symbol that resounds in my soul. Here we are introduced to the nature of God. Here we see how God will work with broken people for next few thousands of years. In the midst of the darkness, the chaos, the disorder we see the Spirit hovering over the waters.

The Spirit of God is sent to scope it out and enter the darkness that He may reconstruct and bring light and order to the elements. Within the next few chapters of Genesis we see how God uses words to remake, create and identify where the elements belong.

God, since the first few verses in the Bible made it clear that He is not afraid of the darkness. He doesn’t avoid messy situations and he doesn’t get overwhelmed when an entire planet is in disorder. The Spirit enters that desperate and dark situation and speaks light, land, sea, creatures, vegetation and ultimately the joy of His existence – you.

The false self, the brokenness of our humanity would think the opposite. We tend to think that God is far from the darkness, from our messiness, from our places of unworthiness. But, the good news is that no matter where you go or run, even to the depths of hell, He is there. No matter what your expereince, your beginnings or malfunction may be, God is there.

God is in the darkness of your soul.

He’s in the confused parts, the brokenness, the shameful areas and the aspects of your psyche that have drifted from the way. Just as in the beginning, He is hovering over those parts of you that you run from, try to talk your way out of and are embarrassed to consider.

Sit in a quiet place and imagine in your mind the parts of you that you don’t want to admit. Picture the parts that you’ve built high and thick walls around. For some, it may take time before your will allows you into those doors of secrecy, of self-perception and blame. Once you have a grasp on those places, see the Spirit of God moving upon the darkness of the waters of your soul. His love and kindness is there, speaking words that will recreate, organize and properly identify those aspects of your personhood.

"Remember Me"

2011-12-21T05:00:00.003-06:00

During the last supper Jesus told his disciples to "do this in remembrance of me.” This statement, proclamation and command is much more than taking communion at your place of worship. I wonder if Christ meant that our lives should be lived in remembrance; that the cross of His suffering should be the crux of which we process everything through. The One who laid down his life for you is asking, would you honor me with your life?

This statement is the constant reminder of the inner witness to slow down and remember the One who suffered unto death. Notice the elements in which Christ wanted to be remembered by. He wants you to keep his blood and broken body ever before you. He wants you to remember His suffering, His anguish and ultimately His love that drove Him to go through with it.

Looking and remembering the cross quickly brings everything back into perspective. Paying bills, the kids and futile disagreements quickly pale second to the great sacrifice of all time. How fast you can forget - how quickly the temporal afflictions can push their way to the top of the priority list, causing you to forget.

It's important to stop.

Stop every day and remember Him, His sacrifice and His coming. In the world that is overboard with multi-tasking and planning every minute of the day, take your will by the shoulders, sit it down and say, “stop.” Take time to commune, to exchange suffering for new life. Ponder his depravity, his beard being ripped from his face, his flesh mingled like string cheese and His dedication to bear the suffering of the cross for you.

Just for a minute reflect, contemplate and remember the beauty of the cross. More silence is needed in life. More meditation, more time to "be" and not "do".

So do it.

Right now.

Gather the pieces of your soul, the trials of the day and pain from life. Pull up a chair, shut your eyes and sit still. Place it all before the table of Christ and take a drink of His cup and a bite of His flesh. Gaze into the eyes of rest, hope and peace. Spend moments with Him and find your soul rejuvenated from knowing He takes pleasure in removing the heaviness of your burdens.

Take a moment and pause to “remember me.”

Embracing Struggle

2011-12-20T06:05:00.008-06:00

Struggles cause us to hide like Adam in the garden. The guilt and shame within the human spirit that comes with struggle causes you to isolate and cover yourself. God’s reaction is as it was at the start of the human race; the Father comes calling out, “where are you?” The light of God comes looking for you to step forward and remove the things that covered your shame. God is light and there is no darkness found in Him. When He comes, He uncovers for the purpose of healing you and for those that surround your life.

Struggle is intended to serve others. Your struggles are present to provide peace of mind and comfort for another. Nothing in the spiritual life is accidental. God uses all things to show forth his kind and tender heart. Your story of struggle and difficulty may be the key that will unlock another person’s heart with the furry of God’s passionate love. Remember, Christ chose to become weak that He could rescue your heart from darkness. When you chose to surrender to weakness within yourself and understand that what you’re facing will enable you to serve others with comfort, wisdom and empathy, you will with joy endure the cross of your life.

Embracing struggle causes spiritual authority, open space and freedom for others when they interact with that portion of your heart. You don’t leave with heaviness, but with greater grace to continue your journey. Embraced struggle doesn’t look inward but serves outward to cause. Your difficulty then becomes a springboard for others to find refreshing, encouragement and spiritual satisfaction.

Embracing struggle is not to deny or divorce the pain of the situation. It’s not living in a fantasy where you’re okay with your circumstance, but instead it’s raising the weakness of life before the Eternal God and allowing His Spirit to infuse your situation with heaven’s breath that it may promote God's glory in whoever you rub shoulders with.

Clarity of Sight

2011-12-19T06:51:00.005-06:00

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people…” Ephesians 1:18

So much of how you respond to life is due to how you see. Your perspective, your understanding and what you actually believe will affect your interaction with people, life events and hardship. It’s easy to mentally agree with theoretical ideas and beliefs, but it’s another thing to see what comes out of your heart when it’s tested.

I heard Graham Cooke a few months ago say that the number one question God continually asked Old Testament prophets was, “what do you see?” It’s amazing how many times God asked his prophets that question. So much of God speaking in under the first covenant was through what was seen.

It’s easy to have your eyes clouded in the daily routine of life because of natural stresses, distractions and evil desires that rage against the Spirit. It’s easy to find yourself like the blind man that Jesus prayed for but only saw men like trees and then needed Christ to pray again. You see life tainted and blurry through damage, shame and a poor self-image, which also affects the way you see and understand the Divine.

Revelation 19:10 says, “for the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness for Jesus.” Daily, you need a clear witness for who Jesus really is. We need the Spirit to remind us that God is good, kind and faithful because our hearts can easily become weary and faint. It’s the dependence on God to speak to the inner life where you will find help, comfort and clear sight.

The Impossible Command

2011-03-07T13:25:00.002-06:00

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.

John 15:12-17

The greatest command Jesus left us is impossible.

It is impossible for humanity to actually love selflessly. It's impossible for us to lay our lives down for someone else - to take ridicule, scoffing and persecution.

It is impossible without the indwelling of God's Spirit.

One thing we as fallen creatures are not good at is love. It's patient, kind, gentle, long-suffering, disciplined... These are not characteristics that naturally flow out of our hearts. Some are deceived into thinking love is easy, but true love is only tested by opposition - not in times of peace.

I love that Jesus made love the characteristic that people would know his followers by. There is no counterfeit for love. If Jesus said my followers would be known by a set of rules and standards, then it would have been very easy for humanity to convert and follow religious rules. But he didn't do that. He used an unattainable attribute, given only by God.

This is glorious for those of us who know there is no good found within us. For others this is a major stumbling block. It's a stumbling block because it doesn't fit into religion. Religion thrives in fear, control and self-righteousness. Love thrives in brokenness, humility and liberty.

When we evaluate our lives as Christians the measuring stick isn't good intentions, righteous living or missions work - it is love. May this drive us to the throne of grace to cry out for mercy and the beautiful impartation of God's marvelous and extravagant love.

Silent Communion

2011-02-18T07:47:00.002-06:00

It's just Him and I.

We sit in silence, saying not a word, yet communicating the entirety of our hearts.

My soul opens and pours out all my concerns and needs and He quickly meets me in secret to commune with me. My heart needs Him, like my body needs food and water - that's how desperately my soul needs to hear His voice.

My substance comes from my trust, not from having answers to all my questions. My heart is fully secure in the knowledge that He truly hears me and knows me... my confidence is found in that deep part of my heart that says, "although everything still looks the same, I know you hear me and see me and I trust you as my guide, my father, my love."

My mind may demand answers yet my spirit only finds rest in full abandoned trust, where there aren't any real answers, just deep assurance and peace that supersedes my mental abilities.

He is so kind, so refreshing, so stable. He holds my heart gently in His hands with care and concern ensuring that my best interest is at hand.

Whether that's grace or discipline, it doesn't matter - as long as it's His hand I could care less.

I would rather have freedom through discipline than bondage through easy street.

I love Him, because His attention is on me - He loves me deeply and calls yet even closer. This is a love beyond our humanity - it truly is divine. This is why I love Him... He first loved me without requirement.

And without words all this can be communicated - this is the miracle of having His Spirit within. I am amazed at His mystery.

New Life

2011-01-20T07:01:00.001-06:00

"For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God's wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness." Romans 5:17

Righteousness is a gift.

Most of us think of righteousness as a duty or list of rules and requirements to be holy (as if we could ever be holy apart from Christ), but righteousness is a gift given to us through Christ.

First, it is a gift as the Holy Spirit enables us to do what is right. Many unbelievers have given themselves over to their sinful nature and therefore can't stop living in active sin because they're trapped in a prison cell controlled by impulses and demonic influences. For the believer, we've been given the power to say no to sin and live rightly before God.

Secondly, the gift of righteousness speaks of Christ's gift to us where we are made right with God aside from our wrong doing. Even when we do commit a sinful act it is God's grace through Jesus that makes us clean. Our attempts to be "righteous" will always fail us because we are a collection of paradoxes (I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I want to do...). Being made righteous in Christ has one requirement - faith.

Faith that God is good. Faith that he forgives and forgets. Faith that there's nothing else you have to do to be made right with Him but believe.

This is another reason why His grace is so amazing. Because the verdict on each of our lives is death, guilt and condemnation but the courts of heaven summons us to grace and forgiveness.

God in Darkness

2011-01-10T07:03:00.002-06:00

Faith is produced and strengthened in the absence of full understanding, in the questions, in darkness.

Our desire is for it to be easy, without effort and conflict, yet what our souls really need is constant testing, confrontation and questioning. In this fallen state it's too common for the soul to slowly find it's way back to our "default", to serve and love ourselves more than God.

Every believer is called to this place but few find it because it's the hidden treasure only found by those who seek with all their heart and who are willing to surrender and believe the goodness of God can and is found in the unknown, the unseen and the uncomfortable. It's only found by those who don't trust in religion, or theology or human reasoning... His ways are higher and they confound the wise of the earth.

As I journey on, I thank God for the darkness, for the unknown, for the accusation and constant attempts to weaken my faith, for all of this is used for the Glory of God - it's in my weakness that His strength is made perfect (crazy, but the liberating truth). This is the fascinating truth of God that in unknowing, we know.

Harmonized Groans

2011-01-05T06:35:00.005-06:00

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time." Romans 8:20-22

The earth longs for redemption.

We were made for him and he for us.

Join in with the orchestra of harmonized groans and call out to God. Join creation in laboring pains, yearning and desperate pleas.

Interactions with the Invisible

2011-01-02T10:37:00.003-06:00

He is mysterious, hidden and ultimately revealed all in one interaction.

Who else can draw me, interest me and capture me like Him?

I have seen the invisible, touched the untouchable and interacted with the uncreated.

Yearning, depth, hunger and desperation consume the pounding of my source.

Essence and intimacy held in an invisible hand,

More tangible than earth-dust.

Holding the blueprint of my DNA,

And the keys of the deadbolts of my heart.

Sacred space, kept hidden and exclusive for no one else but Him.

He put it there, spoke it there and searches there.

He is looking, observing and watching with open eyes,

Of fire, fury and fascination.

He is searching the secrete movements of the heart.

Looking for one passion, love and desire.

Unwilling and relenting to share himself with,

Anyone or anything.

His eyes are staring me in the place of the invisible.

Unable to remove that stare.

Piercing, unveiling and cutting directly to the soul.

He waits.

Pictures, dreams, visions, self-directed movies,

Spin within the depths of the inner-life.

Inaccessible by anyone else but you… and Him.

Sudden blasts in the mainframe of the mind keep me searching,

For the unseen, the uncreated and the invisible intimacy of his arms.

Discovery

2011-01-02T08:34:00.001-06:00

Everything is discovered in Him.

It's in that place of prayer - the place of secrecy and intamcy that all the answers my heart is seeking for are found. As I pour my heart out to Him, He responds with revelation and grace upon my soul.

I find myself searching for answers in other places but never finding satisfaction or true rest for my soul. I weary myself with attempts of discovery and then finally fall to my knees in a place of desperation before the One who holds the keys to my heart.

It's crazy, but all things are found in Him. Even if I don't understand, if I don't "get it", I leave His presence filled with peace, hope and the ability to forge on. His touch, His words and His comfort is so beyond me. It has a way of taking me to places I never thought exsisted. He is magical. He is glorious. His is Love and in Him I learn to live in Him, through Him and for Him.

The questions.

The searching.

The drive.

It's all found in Him. In His knowledge, in His grace.

Rambling of God's Kindness

2010-12-07T17:19:00.001-06:00

He always amazes me.

God is so gracious and humble. He provided a high priest for us that totally gets it. Jesus wasn't protected from loneliness, devastation and pain. I love that he was considered a man acquainted with suffering and sorrows.

The cross was more than physical pain. The mental and emtional anguish of being batrayed by one of the closest people to you, your friends abandoning you and the Father turning his back was more than you or I could bare... but he did.

That thought crosses my mind too - that God just doesn't understand. But he does! He understands more than we think or realize. He came down in to earth in the lowliest of ways and chose the path of sacrifice and love.

I also love the other phrase Jesus was known by during his "ministry." He was a friend of sinners. Oh, how I love this! The heart of God is no different today. God's not found in the pious church buildings of our modern showcase services. He's found among the homeless, the porn stars and the poor. He's walking the streets in Asia where child prostitution is the norm and he's sitting down with the confused teenager in the Middle East contemplating joining up with a terrorist organization. Oh and better yet - he's with me in all my mess, confusion and frustration, he's my friend. This is why he is so amazing.

He loves us! This is such Good News.

Seasons

2010-11-29T06:47:00.003-06:00

Returning the northern states after 11 years, I am hit with the reality of defined season changes. Living in Oklahoma, Texas and Florida have desensitized me to the fullness of each season.

Recently, God has been speaking to me about season changes and how important it is to recognize which season you're in, in order to give you the grace to continue on. Towards the end of our time in Florida, it was very apparent that we were in winter, which gave me the strength to hope for spring. Winter doesn't stay around for ever (like in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)- it is intended to end.

Ironically, we moved to Wisconsin right at the start of the physical winter, but have entered into a spring season of our soul. Everyone that learns we moved here from Florida warns us of what is to come (snow, bitter cold and ice). As I mentally prepare for the extreme temperatures, my mind is looking ahead to May, when it all will begin to melt away. For me, it's the knowledge that spring is only 5 months away that will enable me to fully enjoy the bitter cold.

Seasons have a purpose and they are not intended to last for ever. God may keep you in a specific season longer than someone else to work out his purposes in your life, but each season has it's purpose and an end (Ecclesiastes).

The "spring" I'm experiencing in my soul, being joined to the people of God again, is so sweet because I have tasted and fully embraced the former season of bitter cold, dry and brutal cold. When the next winter of my soul comes, I will carry with me the lessons learned in the past season and embrace the refinement and the trials of God knowing spring will eventually come forth.

The Gathering

2010-11-17T05:41:00.004-06:00

I see a gathering of God's remnant people. I see crowds of faceless people crying out and declaring the works of God. I can see the Spirit gathering his people in Zion. Just as physical Israel regained their land, so will God's people. A great gathering, a great reformation is coming to the church. God says, "do you see what they are doing? Do you see the detestable sins the people...are committing to drive me from my Temple?" (Ezekiel 8:6). The heart of God is lit with fury and jealousy for his house. Once again his temple is filled with swindlers, greedy hearts and wayward minds. The zeal for his house burns in him.

Do not be mistaken - this gathering will not happen in stadiums or mega churches. This great Divine gathering is happening as God is beckoning his people in the under ground. God is jealous for his people, for his house. His desire is to do away with the flashy buildings, pretty crosses and well dressed preachers. He wants to be the one to shine! It is coming.

I can hear the rumble in the distance. A great army of nobodies, ragamuffins. His church is still built with tax collectors, fishermen and zealots. He's still calling the whore, the woman at the well and the greatest of all sinners to build his glorious kingdom.

This will happen. This is happening. His Bride is being purged with fire till she is pure, spotless and without wrinkle. For those who have ears to hear, let him hear.

The Beauty in Weakness

2010-11-10T06:14:00.003-06:00

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

There's a secret mystery of the Kingdom found in this scripture. Paul was being tormented by Satan with an affliction. The affliction made him weak - whether in body, mind or spirit we don't know. All we know is that he was weak.

God's reply to Paul wasn't, "I will remove the difficulty." No! Just the opposite. God's reply to him was that his grace is more than enough.

Paul knew the secret of weakness. Instead of attempting to fight off the weakness, correct it or cover it up - he embraced it! Paul goes on to say 1 line later that, "I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

What a paradigm shift from modern society and modern Christianity that's always trying to "fix" people.

There's a secret, a freedom and liberty in weakness. The more weakness is embraced in light of God's strength, the more we become comfortable with imperfection, failure and our certain lack.

This revelation is what guided Paul in his life. The spiritual disciplines he spoke of often, such as fasting, prayer and service to others are all a lifestyle of placing the self in a position of weakness. The more I learn to embrace weakness, the more I see God's glory revealed through it.

Walk away from the spiritual fashion and beauty industry that attempts to cover-up the flaws and impurities with futile clothing and make up. Allow your soul to stand before God broken, weak and in need. In that state, he will provide supernatural strength and grace to love him, others and yourself.

Reflections of Afflication

2010-11-04T06:14:00.004-05:00

Reflecting on the desert of last season, God whispers his truth that frees my spirit and causes my heart to fall in love even deeper with his ways.

I've been thinking about how painful and difficult the last chapter of life was. Struggle, fear and hopelessness all engulfed me at one point or another. I never though I would experience such empty, lonely feelings - but I did. It was revelatory, refining and above all - it increased my love for him.

I learned that it's in the midst of chaos, confusion and pain that I can raise my voice and not only thank God, but confess, "YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD!"

Faith coupled with that phrase unleashes the flood gates of grace into any situation. Now that I'm out of that season, I have a more objective viewpoint, realizing that it is the pain, the emptiness and afflictions of the former that carved a deeper well of understanding and desperation of how much I love and need him. The affliction of life can either cripple you or cause the glory of God to rise.

This was the secret Paul was talking about when he said, "I can do all things..." He learned to live in luxury and poverty, with friends and without, with comfort and pain... He lived in the revelation that being content in God is the secret to grace and freedom in Christ.

Just with a few steps out of the former season, I am noticing greater levels of trust and faith in God's supremacy. This is the hidden mystery of how people find God in the midst of cancer, death of a loved one and the pain of abandonment.

He is always good - always trustworthy.

The Battle of the Seasons

2010-11-01T06:41:00.003-05:00

Recently, there has been such an emphasis on the change of seasons in my life personally and the life of the church.

The beginning of last weak, we experienced very fierce and wicked winds in this area of the country. One morning, we had to go into our basement because of a tornado warning (we're used to hurricanes)! God was using the weather to speak to so many people in the church. My good-friend Brian brought something that has stuck with me -

He heard on the radio the explanation of why there had been such high winds. The meteorologist explained that it was a battle between the two seasons. This was what was causing such intense and dangerous weather. The warm weather from the south was fighting to remain, while the winds from the north were attempting to bring winter. This clash in the atmosphere produced intense winds, change and resistance.

I've always loved that Jesus told Nicodemus that the Spirit is like the wind - no one can catch him, control him or figure out where he is going. God will use drastic "weather" changes in our life to take us into a new season, but we have to be willing to go with the direction of the wind otherwise we will wear ourselves out.

Pushing against such intense winds is exhausting, but when you run with the wind, it's almost effortless to soar. One season cannot stay for long before the winds of another season begin to press against it. This is because God is wild, uncontainable and free. He moves as he wishes in order to ensure our hearts don't settle in one way or movement of his spirit. He changes the winds to refine our love and devotion that no one or no other "thing" has our heart or security.

Simple and True

2010-10-25T06:27:00.004-05:00

Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply.

Matthew 6:6-13

Simple and true - this is what God is looking for.

Not put-together or coming with complicated formula's or confusing doctrines or approaches. He just wants you - just as you are. Jesus understood the tendency in human nature to perform. He knew that when we go before the Father, there is a tilt in us to hide behind the bush, like Adam and Eve because of our shame and guilt.

Once again, Jesus is making it plain and simple - there's not much involved in the life of prayer. It's simply coming to Him and laying it all out.

Fathers' understand this. There's something so intimate and connecting when your children are honest with you. You would rather your child mess up big time and come to you in honesty and brokenness than to discover they've been hiding something from you.

The heart of God is to connect with us. Since the beginning, all He's wanted is an interwoven relationship with us, His creation. He has gone to great lengths to restore the ability to come and go as we please.

Today, stop. Listen for His heart, feel his heart and respond. Let the romance of God rekindle as the focus shifts from you to Him.

Sacrifice is Water to the Soul

2010-10-22T21:44:00.003-05:00

Since we've moved into our new house there has been so much to do, organize and plan. It's placed added pressure on getting things done and settling into our new place to make it a home.

The other night we realized our kitchen sink and dishwasher weren't draining, so we piled all our dirty dishes up for two days while it was getting figured out. Well, go to find out, the main sewage line out of our house is clogged. So at 9PM, Mr. Rotor Router shows up, opens the main line and fills our house with the smell, of well... poop. He finished up around 10:45ish and then it was time for me to do the dishes and mop the floor. Oh, forgot to mention I had to get up at 4am the next morning for work.

My point? I learned something in this... sacrifice feels good to the soul.

Modern convenience has cheapened the glory of giving yourself for the sake of others (not that I've mastered this - on the contrary). This is why it's good sometimes to go out of the way and give something you don't really have, so others can enjoy it.

Walking away from this, I'm challenged to go out of my way to inconvenience myself so someone can benefit... It's so much more rewarding than watching out for "my own." Besides, there is no greater love than a friend to lay down his life for another.

Foolishness

2010-10-18T21:03:00.004-05:00

Wounds of a mystical Prophet stare in the spirit,

Disfigured face, hand and foot.

Slaughtered animal leaving puddles of blood and gore.

Stripped naked of all pride, decency and justice,

Stripped slowly of sanity and sight seeking for an end.

Pounding heart of with a heavy burden,

Heard miles around the globe.

Pounding with rejection,

Pounding with alienation,

Pounding with aggression.

Bound words of brutal beasts that deserve nothing but death.

Broken skin beaten and bruised until it’s hanging slabs of skin.

Beat that drum, beat it loud till the beat is heard no more.

Blinded eyes, you’ve searched for your self-indulgence

And found the abuse of its sting.

Guilty of gluttony and binging and vomiting your own disgust,

Sickened in the soul yet proud of your finite shell,

That has an end to the peace and the freedom to will you now posses.

Laugh in the face of Justice and mock the absurdity of the man on the tree,

Yet your tripping block is the place of my Redemption.

Curse me, hurt me, kill me,

This life and breath are not mine to give or take.

The wounds of a mystical Prophet stare in the spirit,

Empowering my soul to rise and share the pain of my Lover.

Gladly I will give the life I have mistakenly called my own,

For the treasure and reward of the next life will far outweigh

Your tricks of the eyes, the flesh and the arrogance of this vain life.

2010-10-14T20:15:00.004-05:00

Drops of rain.

A breathe of fresh air.

Rest to an exhausted body.

Calm in a raging storm.

Order to confusion.

Home to a wandering soul.

The winds of change have taken us to a new land and this land is full of promise - milk and honey - goodness and plenty. The former season has passed and now the time has come to rest and rejoice in the goodness of God.

It's good to be home.

Stay connected for more... seasons have changed and it's time to share again.

Roots

2010-03-31T05:44:00.005-05:00

I met a man.

We talked about trees,

Wind.

Roots.

It was eye-opening, enlightening - revelatory.

We talked about life and how dry and arid it has been,

spiritually.

emotionally.

mentally.

Then he told me story.

He told me about the trees in west Texas, where he's from. He said when he first moved to Florida he was confused why everyone was panicking on the news about 85 mile an hour winds. He said in TX people don't fret till the winds reach 135 or so.

The storm hit.

He then understood.

When the storm had passed he walked outside to discover the trees had fallen or were ripped out of the ground. This is what he said,

"Joey, I realized the trees in Florida don't have to look for water because it is so wet here. In west Texas, it is so dry that the roots are forced to look deeper to find water and therefore grow stronger and handle much higher winds."

It was then I felt the grace of God. He's not only with me in the desert - he lead me here for my growth and own good.

I am embracing this season of dryness and growing pains. Although at times I want to quit, I now understand to a greater level what he's doing and I am content in that.

Thoughts on Righteousness - The Freedom in Righteousness

2010-03-19T10:53:00.004-05:00

Let me be honest -

Any time I hear anyone mention the word "righteousness" or "righteousness living" I get this sinking feeling in my stomach. Condemnation, the striving attempt to do it or be it and the heaviness of the reality that I can never actually live up to righteousness. The other image that quickly comes to mind is a middle-aged baptist man that's out-of-touch and somewhat judgmental. Obviously both of these responses are not positive or attractive and major misconceptions of true righteousness.

Following up with my previous post about sin, righteousness is nothing more than alignment with the proper order of creation. It's very much like the spine of the human body. If your spine is just a little off (out of alignment) it can affect virtually any part of the body such as your feet, back and neck. It's just a fact - proper alignment promotes optimal health.

This is how it is with righteousness. Participating in right actions, right thoughts and a right heart leads to proper spiritual alignment which leads to optimal health. Righteousness isn't legalism, it's actually freedom. It's us, in our broken state, recognizing which ways are broken and which ways promote healing and health.

This paradigm shift has released great levels of freedom over the way I live and choices I make. When I understand the motive of God's heart of disdain and hatred towards unrighteousness is the same disdain I have towards sickness with my own children, I get it. God's aggression towards unrighteous acts and living is fueled by furious love, not a legalistic spirit of law with no grace. To him, unrighteousness is a caner, a poison that has the potential to destroy his creation. Light bulb! That's it - it's his love and desire for me to live a life to its fullest. What a breath of fresh air and the freedom to live righteously.

Thoughts on Righteousness - Sin

2010-02-22T14:02:00.003-06:00

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23

Sin -

A word full of regret, shame, condemnation, heaviness, insecurity and inability.

It's a word used all the time in Christianity but not fully understood.

When I was in Bible school one of my professors explained that when the Bible uses the word "sin," it references it as a state, not an action. Now, I'm not a Bible scholar, but that really spoke to me. When Romans talks about each of us having sinned, it's referring more to the state of humanity then just a specific sin.

This is easily seen in my children. Even though they are so cute, they are sinners by nature. No one taught my little girl to disobey or smirk when she knows she's doing something wrong. She's only a year old and already I can see that fallen nature coming out.

A better way I like to view the word "sin" is with the word "malfunctioned." Sin is the malfunctioned state of humanity. We were created to work a certain way, in a certain order. Sin is the certain element that has perverted the original intention causing the human order to malfunction.

Think about it this way - the body is a complex organism. If your body stopped producing one of the many natural enzymes it uses to stabilize itself, you could have major complications and many aspects of your normal life would go haywire. Better yet, think about your computer. If your computer gets a virus that goes undetected, it will eventually malfunction and not operate the way it was intended and become useless.

This is what happened to man. Once sin entered, the order or the way we created to operate was ruined. Humanity had malfunctioned, stopped working and began to rebel against itself.

This is my view of sin. It's the state of the earth and of my nature. I was born in a malfunctioning state. I knew how to deceive, lie and rebel before I even knew how to define those terms. It's a part of my nature and only One could make it right. Humanities state was hopeless because there was no cure or surgeon or mechanic that had the ability or knowledge of how to fix broken humans.

Sin is the rebellion of the proper order of God, creation and nature. It's where cancer comes from, murder and vengeance. It's the out of alignment of our intended state.

Thoughts on Righteousness - By Faith

2010-02-18T05:51:00.003-06:00

Part of the journey in discovering the truth of righteousness lead me to Romans and Hebrews. It's here that I continued to realized that righteousness in God's sight isn't simply the avoidance of sin. Instead, righteousness has more to do with my belief in Christ - in God's kindness - than my good deeds.

It's here that I see that faith is the main requirement or ingredient, not being "good." Paul makes it clear that my righteousness is as dirty rags and that we're justified by faith. The Bible says that it was by faith that Rahab, Abraham and others were justified in God's sight. Faith that God's promise is true, that God will do what he has said and that God's character is trustworthy.

For example, when I sin I can feel the presence of shame, guilt and death. My natural response is condemn myself and wallow in my failure. This response says that I am unrighteous and have fallen. Yet, somewhere in the midst of despair I remember Him. Once my eyes behold him, I suddenly realize it's not about my failure, it's about his grace.

In that moment righteousness is born - not of my own doing - but by my faith that Christ's mercy is able to reach me even in the pig pen. It's my faith in God (his faithfulness, kindness and ability to forgive) that transforms into righteousness.

It's here I realize that righteousness vs. unrighteousness has more to do with my perception and beliefs about God than my good deeds. It's putting things in proper order - once I have the proper sight to see God and believe in his kindness, then the overflow of my life is good deeds. It's this proper alignment that spurs on a life of holiness, not the other way around.

Thoughts on Righteousness - What It's Not

2010-02-11T13:43:00.006-06:00

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." -Jesus (Matthew 5:6)

Righteousness was a confused subject for me. My understanding of righteousness was that of legalistic rules and regulation. For years I've avoided the very thoughts of righteousness because it had such a negative association.

For the past four months God has shed his gracious light on this area and it has brought great understanding and freedom for me. Hopefully I can share to some extent the clarity I've received. It's taken me months to process this so words have not come easy to the concepts in my mind. Let's begin with what righteousness is not -

It's not restrictive. It's not burdensome. It's not condemning. It's not rules. It's not regulation. It's not requirements. It's not impossible. It's not shameful. It's not spiritual pride. It's not religious. It's not pious. It's not expectations God has of me or you.

This is a simple starting place, I know. Walk with me as I unravel the deeper revelation into areas of greater freedom and understanding of God's amazing love and desire for our lives.

To See Him

2010-02-02T05:37:00.000-06:00

Ever so often I get a glimps of Him.

Today was one of those days.

Today I saw Him in his beauty and tasted of a piece of his glory. Every time I see him, it makes me crazy. He is so attractive, so overwhelming and so everything I need. To behold him is all I want to do. When I get a glimps of him like this, I am filled with great desire to die because I know when I leave this mortal shell then and only then will I see in the fullness.

Honestly, when the curtain is pulled back ever so slightly during these times of ultimate ecstacy, all I want is leave this broken and sin-ridden life simply to look upon him. This is what the Psalm talks about when it says, "better is one day than a thousand elsewhere..." I would sell everything I have and move into a mud hut if I could just spend one day with him in his fullness and to think we'll have all eternity.

Seeing God in his beauty is impossible to accurately describe. It is better than the excitement of traveling or riding a roller coaster. It is more gorgeous than the setting sun over the mountaintops of Colorado. It is a greater feeling than the joining of my wife and I in sex. He is without words. He is indescribable.

Even as I write these words, my heart aches and pants for his touch - for just another glimpse of his glory. Oh taste and see that the Lord, he is good!

Rest

2010-01-27T09:07:00.002-06:00

Everything is discovered in Him.

The questions.

The searching.

The drive.

It's all found in Him. In His knowledge, in His grace.

Prayer and Conception

2010-01-21T08:24:00.003-06:00

Prayer is like conception.

Prayer is a glorious grace that requires faithfulness, patience and protection in the secret place of God's heart. We need not grow weary or impatient because the longer we wait, the more accurately and developed his word with become until there's no other option but to push!

Prodigal Moments

2010-01-16T10:44:00.003-06:00

Every now and again I have a prodigal moment.

The daily grind of life, personal issues and the drama of life can take my attention away from the one I have always loved. Before you know it, I'm caught in a mechanical cycle of doing my tasks, making sure all my bases are covered and going to sleep to wake for the next day of the same.

Then I wake one morning with a loud knocking on my heart's door, "Joey, where are you?," "What are you doing?" It's him. The one I've given my life to and he's looking for me, the real me. The me only he knows and calls out to in the night.

In that moment, my heart breaks, my eyes see the rip in my commitment and how unfaithful I've been.

He is so kind in his discipline. He doesn't make you feel shameful or even guilty, just a deep pit of sorrow coupled with an intense desire to change - to repent.

He's calling out to me to come, to let go and to simply take each breath with him in mind.

I too am a prodigal - unfaithful Israel -

My Father doesn't care about where I've been or even about my lack of faithfulness.

He's just glad I'm home.

2009-12-12T05:41:00.000-06:00

"Jesus turned and looked at his disciples and then siad to Peter very sternly, "Get away from me, Satan! You are seeing merely from a human point of view, not from God's."

Mark 8:33

So if Jesus lived with me in my daily life, he would probably use this rebuke on me very often.

Read his rebuke again - very slowly.

You are seeing merely from a human point of view - not from God's.

That is heavy. Everyting we seem to do in our day needs to be rebuked until we understand the will of God. Paul made it very clear that no one knows the mind of God except the Spirit of God. This is why we must daily pray in the Spirit until we receive revelation on what his will is for us today.

How often do I make decisions based on how much it will work towards my advantage, if it fits into my future plans or financial stability? How does, go and sell everything you own and give it to the poor sound for your 401k? Hmmm. This is the radical lifestyle Jesus calls his disciples to. One of total surrender that he could tell any one of us at any moment to empty our savings account, or better yet our checking account and give it to the homeless.

Of course, we don't just go and do these things because we think we should, but when God speaks we must be ready to move quickly.

Jesus rebukes Peter because he's not seeing with a heavenly perspective. He's using his logical mind, his reasoning to try to accomplish the work of God's kingdom. It didn't work then and it will not work today. It's time we throw out the human efforts to save people and get them to come to our Christian clubs and we begin to cry out to God to reveal his will, his way of doing things. Besides, this is his church.

I guess the question for today is are you looking at things merely from a human point of view or God's?

Contemplate

2009-12-07T19:30:00.000-06:00

"Oh God, we meditate on your unfailing love..." Psalm 48:9

Get away today for some time and purposely meditate on his unfailing love.

His Beauty

2009-12-01T08:03:00.000-06:00

Worshiping God is natural. It should never be conjured up, never pushed out or performed. The same way the our hearts leap when we see the breathtaking landscape of New Zealand or when we watch the mind-boggling opening ceremony of the Olympics - we're simply amazed, in awe.

Worshiping God can be likened unto being intimate with your spouse. Her beauty overtakes you, you tell her, you're drawn to her. Eventually, she becomes so desirable there's no other appropriate response of the heart but to give your self fully to her.

Worshiping God is allowing his Spirit to open our eyes to see Him and then we just can't help ourselves but respond. As we gaze on his beauty, we become overwhelmed with joy, excitement, mystery. We don't know what else to do, or how else to express ourselves so we become undignified. Like when you're in love and do stupid things you wouldn't ever do otherwise. This is the organic, human responds of the soul to our Creator.

Like when you haven't seen a loved one in a few days and then you're reunited - you freak out. You jump all over them, you cry and won't let go of them. This is worship, this is Love. It doesn't take much to worship God. Just look at him - he is so gorgeous, so beautiful, so appealing.

These Remain

2009-11-25T14:08:00.001-06:00

"These things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

The Drama of God

2009-11-20T06:10:00.000-06:00

There's an intolerance in our modern society with people who are strong in personality, opinionated and dramatic. It's as if society is attempting to deaden us all, to make us subdued and indifferent. The spirit of age is attempting to rid the Earth of those who will be a mouth piece for the truth and righteousness of God. Even in the church we see this everywhere. Preachers are attempting to preach a non-offensive gospel, worship can't get too radical and those with contrary convictions are forced into "submission." This is ironic considering the Bible and those highlighted in the Bible are very opinionated, dramatic and strong willed individuals.

Beginning with God himself - he doesn't ever do anything indifferently. Look at how dramatic he always chose to display his power. He used a burning bush that didn't burn, a prophet married to a whore to send a message to his people and of course, Jesus turning over the tables in the Temple. Even after Christ died, the Earth shook, dead people came out of their graves and most importantly, the curtain in separating man from God tore in half. This is drama! This is God.

The book of Revelation reads like a sci-fi movie filled with terror, redemption and triumph. God is dramatic. He is filled with emotion, desire and opinion and so should should his people be as well. God wants to show himself again the way he did in the day of the prophets.

The prophets were not a liked people. Every one of them brought a strong message that offend most, but brought comfort to the ones who had ears to hear. Even the New Testament prophets, John the Baptist, Jesus and John carried the same spirit of strong will, strong opinion and, what we call today, personality. This is coming again to the church and it will have the same result in people; offense or freedom.

Grace is Stronger Than Sin

2009-11-19T10:48:00.001-06:00

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more...

Romans 5:20

How beautiful is He?

His grace literally takes my breath away. Even now as I write these words my heart is beating fast because his grace is overwhelming.

His grace doesn't do anything in theory - only when you've murdered your brother, cursed the one you love and given into the sin that so easily knocks you off your rocker does his grace amaze.

Greater revelation has been given to me over the last few days of how lovely this verse is. Even Paul's conclusion, "what does this mean then? Should we sin all the more? Of course not!" If the motive is to sin, grace is obsolete. It's when we defile our rights as heirs to God's kingdom and then hear him call us by name, pick us up, dust us off and kiss us - then we really know how incredible his grace is.

Sin can't stop his grace - it magnifies it! How ingenious is God? How above the schemes and intentions of the evil one is He? And how much of a side note is our short comings when we are depended on Him for salvation, justification and redemption.

To think anything otherwise would be to trivialize the blood of Christ.

Is it not enough? Do we ever have to earn anything from him?

This is what makes Christ's blood so powerful - it abolished our sin, removed and forgave us for our crooked hearts.

His grace draws me to my knees, causes tears to well up in my eyes and awakens my soul to a love that is beyond my human comprehension.

slave or lover?

2009-11-18T06:23:00.001-06:00

"So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law." Galatians 5:1

There's a lure that's crooked and deceptive. We're designed to love and be loved and so our souls search to accomplish both. We yearn and then we fulfill the hunger, we crave and we find satisfaction, we hurt and we resolve the pain. The question is, where do we turn, who do we go to and how do we find healing?

Since I've had to find work on my own, there has been a constant wrestle over who will be my master. I mean this in a literal sense, not figurative. Daily, I have a choice to either serve the taskmaster of fear, anxiety and strife or to submit all control to God. If I begin to serve the spirit of the law, I quickly find myself bound to a ruthless taskmaster with no mercy, no kindness and no pity. I become a slave and frantically try to remove the chains around my soul. I try to free myself, but the weight and power of the shackles are too much for me. I realize I've left my first love and have invested my affection and attention in a lesser love. I have committed spiritual adultery, idolatry. How quickly it happens, how quickly I give my heart to one who has no compassion and no real reward. I find myself in need and so I cry out.

Quickly, he come with fire in his eyes. A fire of jealousy for my love, attention and dedication. He comes so graciously, clothed in grace and peace. He unwraps my dirty garments and resorts my rightful position. He is the polar opposite to the law of Moses, he is the law of love. He isn't concerned so much with my unfaithfulness as he is with my redemption. His law is so light, so fulfilling and so rewarding. He is kind, patient in my weakness and provides his strength to stabilize my shaky legs. When I "work" for him, I am complete and at rest and have no ambition to strive. He is a faithful husband - like being delivered out of an abusive relationship into one that is rooted in faithful and selfless love.

This post is a dedication and voice of gratitude to One who has loved me without condition and has poured himself out for my sake. How can I ever repay such love, or in fact, understand it? It's true, his burden is light and his yoke is easy. Faithful and true is His name and perfect in all his ways.

Unsystematic Theology

2009-11-17T06:15:00.000-06:00

God is not systematic.

He doesn't like to do things the same way twice.

He's creative, romantic - He's impossible to figure out.

These may sound like obvious statements but we don't live like this is true. Most of the church loves to quantify God, systematize Him and place Him in a nice and neat organized package. This can be seen in our methods of evangelism, church growth and even prayer. We try to find the most effective way systematically. This works great in Corporate America, but is this really what God is like?

All throughout scripture God is always creatively surprising people. Burning bushes, absolute silence, through a donkey and in having one of His prophets marry a whore. He is so creative and such a romantic that he doesn't want us to figure Him out.

He's a mystery on purpose.

This is why prayer, fasting, worship, Bible reading and so on doesn't produce anything of the Spirit unless it is fueled by genuine and real desire to see Him, know Him and be with Him. These religious activities in themselves are nothing more than the prayers prayed by Muslims or knocks on the door by Jehovah Witnesses. They are ways in which man thinks he has figured God out - how to reach God, how to control Him.

This is why so many are frustrated by their "spiritual growth."

It's a formula. It's a math equation.

It's the newest trend of organization.

It's not desperate.

It's not hungry.

It's just not real.

In Desperation

2009-11-16T05:00:00.000-06:00

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." (Psalm 84:2)

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." (Psalm 42:1)

Have you ever seen a woman in labor? Have you ever seen a little boy dying from starvation? Have you ever watched a grown man weep in sorrow for infidelity? This is desperation.

Those images flash so quickly in mind and grab our hearts. They draw us to a place of communion with the human spirit. We all relate to desperation, we've all been there many times. No, probably not dying from starvation and maybe never in labor but places where we were so desperate we would do anything.

David knew this place well. He was being pursued by someone he loved deeply. King Saul was after David's life; he wanted him dead. During the years of Kings Saul's pursuit David found an incredible resting place or refuge and strength. David discovered the depths of God and deepened his friendship with him. What pushed David into these places with God was his desperation. He knew what it meant to cry out as if it was his last breath.

Many of the psalms have been trivialised by modern Christianity. When David said, "The Lord is my Shepard," he was taking a stroll in the park, he was releasing deep levels of faith that found the rock of his salvation. David craved God, yearned for him and even fainted in expectation of his coming. His writings are more than inspirational, they are the naked and raw reality of the human condition.

Each of us need God just as desperately as David, some know it well and others are unaware. It's as we journey to those places many keep boarded up, that we see our decrepit state and our need to be rescued. It's dirty, messy and very uncomfortable. It requires the unveiling of our insecurities, our pride and the disappointment we try so hard to dress up.

Find God today in desperation. Find him your brokenness, your heartache - in your fallen state. Jesus was a man acquainted with sorrows and suffering. He is our great high priest who is able to sympathize with us in our weakness. Let your curtains fall today and reveal the desperate child within.

The Prison of the Self

2009-11-13T06:26:00.000-06:00

"The only true joy on earth is to escape from the prison of our own false self, and enter by love into union with the Life Who dwells and sings within the essence of every creature and in the core of our own souls." - Thomas Merton

The "self" is one of the slipperiest slopes to misery and destruction.

In a culture where we are indited with the pursuit and preservation of the self, we have to work hard to rid ourselves of self centered tendencies. Our society has preached to us that we are at the center of our universe so we better take care of "me." The trick and irony is that the more we focus on our self, the more darkness we enter into.

Our false self is the fallen nature each of us live with. It's the part of our creation that has malfunctioned and will not work properly until death and the resurrection of a perfected body. The false self is the deviant part of our souls, the part that wants to get its way, the part that inevitably makes us miserable because we do what we don't want to do.

This is why psychology has actually brought greater devastation to many souls. Psychology imposes itself as the doctor for the soul when in fact the deeper we examine our soul, the more delusional and confused our darkness becomes. Psychology encourages the person to look inside - a dissection of emotions, memories and behavior. It teaches us how to manage our demons, not get free from them.

The only way to true freedom from the self is to get outside of our false self, not to look inward. God alone is the doctor for the soul and only he can truly show us who we really are, our real self. This real self is only found in the person of Christ Jesus and therefore can only be found by looking up toward heaven. This coming out of the false self is only accomplished through the perfect union of love with him and him alone.

He not only teaches us a new way, he cures us from the demons and lifts our faces to a new reality beyond our earthly hopelessness. The way to freedom isn't to look inward but to look upward toward the One who has conquered death and the grave.

His True Spirit

2009-11-12T10:09:00.000-06:00

"I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." 1 Corinthians 2:3-5

The Spirit of Christ is humble, broken and lowly. Too often his Spirit is exchanged for a false message of monetary prosperity or spiritual pride.

He was a man acquainted with sorrows - one who was abandoned, ridiculed and humiliated. He knew the road of brokenness and the simplicity of the Father's bread. He came as an accurate example of the Father for us to see.

He was an ordinary man, the Bible states that he was plain looking, not overly appealing. His grand entry into the world was in a trough used to feed animals to an ordinary woman. He healed people with spit, rivers and mud. His way of conquering sin was to die the way of a criminal. Jesus was ordinary in every way and performed the most extraordinary tasks.

This is how we are to be as his followers. Ordinary people used in extraordinary ways, not dependant on marketing ourselves, using the most persuasive language or even devising plans on how to effectively evangelize (could you image Jesus doing this?). Our witness is to be dependent on him - on his Spirit alone. We've placed too much confidence in our persuasive ways of innovation and modernity.

We need not try to reach people, we need to be reliant on the Holy Spirit and live in the fear of God. He will take care of the rest.

Stregnth in Weakness

2009-11-11T05:21:00.000-06:00

For most of my life, I've followed the current of our culture when it comes to weakness. Especially throughout college, I made my shell so appealing, perfect and a bit mysterious. I was unaware that I was striving for perfection, or the appearance of perfection at the very least. My outward shell was put together, my insides were fully armed with defenses to protect my heart and my mind was able to avoid any situation that would provoke my insecurity. I was well on my way to the life showcased by celebrities of our modern day or the gods of the ancient world.

Weakness was avoided at all costs because it was vulnerable and emotionally overwhelming. Recently I read Paul's confession that it was in his weakness that God's strength was perfected. I began to ponder on this paradoxical mystery. I asked myself, "If God's strength is made perfect in weakness then why am I running from it?" Slowly the walls have come down and I've allowed my heart to risk being put on display. I've come to understand that true strength comes from brokenness, weakness and vulnerability. Shame is being burnt from my soul in the fire of God's passionate love. As I continue to walk this journey with my maker, I learn daily to embrace weakness, to see God's glory shine in my imperfection and allow hurt, pain and insecurity find it's safety in him alone.

Rambling of God's Goodness

2009-11-10T05:21:00.003-06:00

He always amazes me.

He loves us! This is such Good News.

Where Can I Worship?

2009-11-08T08:33:00.002-06:00

The story of the woman at the well is playing over and over again in my mind.

"Where can I worship?" is highlighted and resounds in my spirit.

Now I get it - I understand what she was asking. She wanted to know the actual place to worship; on the mountain or in Jerusalem. Jesus made it clear to the woman that a time was about to come when men and women wouldn't need a physical location because they would be able to worship in Spirit and truth.

My heart is using the same words but asking a different question. It's Sunday morning and millions of people are going to church this morning.

I'm not.

Why?

I just can't do "church" any more. There's got to be more than piling a bunch of people into a room, singing a few songs, listening to announcements, listening to a lecture and then going home. I leave services asking myself, "what did we just accomplish? what did we just do?"

I long for more - I want more. Going to "church" actually leaves me with a heaviness - it's that religious yoke that is very heavy and man-centered.

My heart longs for a place to worship. To connect with God in a way that is pure and not guided by a minute-by-minute as if I'm attending a business meeting.

Where can I worship?

My heart it crying out for the Spirit to answer me. Where can my family find refuge and safety to worship God and connect with others on deep levels - uncomfortable levels - real levels.

Jesus said, "My house will be called a house of prayer." I know this is my destiny, this is where we belong, this is what we were made for.

I still believe, still hope and still walk forward in hopes that God will be faithful to his promise and establish for himself a house of prayer.

These deserts lands are lonely, dark and very dry - yet it's here we are perfected, tested and approved.

Still, I wait.

the pain of prayer

2009-09-14T06:21:00.003-05:00

"prayer... Is far from sweet and easy. Being the expression of our greatest love, it does not keep pain from us. Instead, it makes us suffer more since our love for God is a love for a suffering God and our entering into Gods intimacy is an entering into the intimacy where all of human suffering is embraced in divine compassion. To the degree that our prayer has become the prayer of our heart we will love more and suffer more, we will see more light and more darkness, more grace and more sin, more of God and more of humanity. To the degree that we have descended into our hearts and reached out to God from there, solitude can speak to solitude, deep to deep, and heart to heart. It is there where love and pain are found together."

-Henri Nowen

God's qualifications

2009-09-05T05:22:00.004-05:00

This is why I love God! He uses screw-ups, like me.

Read this list below and then see if you qualify to be one of God's servants:

Noah was a drunk

Abraham was too old

Isaac was a daydreamer

Jacob was a liar

Leah was ugly

Joseph was abused

Moses had a stuttering problem

Gideon was afraid

Samson had long hair and was a womanizer

Rahab was a prostitute

Jeremiah and Timothy were too young

David had an affair and was a murderer

Elijah was suicidal

Isaiah preached naked

Jonah ran from God

Naomi was a widow

Job went bankrupt

Peter denied Christ (3 times!) T

he Disciples fell asleep while praying

Martha worried about everything

Mary Magdalene was the Samaritan woman who was divorced, more than once...

Zaccheus was too small

Paul was too religious

Timothy had an ulcer

Lazarus was dead

failed and a mess

2009-09-04T05:13:00.004-05:00

If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal. A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise—and God's promise at that—you can't break it. Romans 4:14-15 (MSG)

Have you ever felt like a failure?

I have.

Actually, everyday I'm being faced with this overwhelming reality that I have failed. This pseudo-demonic influence that constantly reminds me that everything I've put my hands to hasn't worked out - failed.

I'm in this season of waiting for the promise of God and in this season my feeble legs have grown weary, my throat is like sandpaper from lack of water and my eye's are heavy from exasperation.

I have never seen my self like this before -

weak.

a mess.

unable to perform.

Everyday bleak, colorless and harder to swallow.

It's a bit shocking for me because my behavior is erratic, and yet strangely refreshing. Why refreshing? Because I'm soul is being uncovered in its raw and unfiltered state.

I've tried to hold it together for too long.

This scripture above smacked me between the eyeballs this morning. Again, I'm confronted with crazy and absurd grace. God turned the tables on me - it's not what I do... really? You mean, God isn't keeping score of my failing and lack of trust? He's actually set it up in a way that I can't fail? Why? Because it's not about me!

There's no contract. Only one requirement - to believe. To believe Jesus' sacrifice was enough, to believe there's nothing more I can or cannot do - to believe I can't break it.

Once again, God's grace is coming to me in a very dark and lonely hour. Maybe that's why I've been lead to the land of desolation. Maybe that's why I don't recognize myself any more... Because he wants to show me that even in my weakness - he still loves me.

"But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise—and God's promise at that—you can't break it."

even though...

2009-08-24T05:00:00.001-05:00

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Even though.

What a season this has been.

Dryness. Barrenness. Thirsty. Anger. Questioning. Truth.

I am a tool being sharpened by the master blacksmith. He is refining, sharpening and scaling away the areas of dullness. He is unveiling my weak, fragile state and demonstrating the revelation that His strength is perfected in my weakness, not perfection.

Even though life is being lived in the dead of winter, I know spring is on the way. No matter how cold or dark it may get the promise of warmer days remains. The word of God does not return void, it will melt the snow and deliver warmth to the heart that is waiting for Him to come. His promises are tested by fire and trial in order to prove that He really is the God who provides.

Winter is almost over. I can hear the crackling of breaking ice and the trickle of melting snow. The signs are everywhere - the birds returning to sky, the daylight remaining for a second longer and the animals peering out of their holes.

A new day is upon us. A new day of life, fertility and the reward for those who wait.

without words

2009-06-29T05:49:00.001-05:00

It's just Him and I.

We sit in silence, saying not a word, yet communicating the entirety of our hearts.

My mind may demand answers yet my spirit only finds rest in full abandoned trust, where there aren't any real answers, just deep assurance and peace that supersedes my mental abilities.

He is so kind, so refreshing, so stable. He holds my heart gently in His hands with care and concern ensuring that my best interest is at hand.

Whether that's grace or discipline, it doesn't matter - as long as it's His hand I could care less.

I would rather have freedom through discipline than bondage through easy street.

And without words all this can be communicated - this is the miracle of having His Spirit within. I am amazed at His mystery.

my resting place

2009-06-26T05:00:00.000-05:00

Everything is discovered in Him.

The questions.

The searching.

The drive.

It's all found in Him. In His knowledge, in His grace.

a new wave

2009-06-25T10:19:00.001-05:00

God is raising up prophetic messengers.

There is great movement in Spirit over the church.

Great fire, great judgement and great love are coming to those who bear the name of Christ for purification, testing and refinement.

God is preparing his army. A people who are laboring in silence, in the wilderness. A people who have been marinating in what he is saying for so long that the word of the Lord has overtaken their life. The message to the churches burns on their lips and consumes their hearts. They are a people unafraid of the desert places, the seasons of preparation. They're aim isn't to build another ineffective religious organization or para-church ministry. They want him. They want his Kingdom to come to the Earth and they want to see his church be just that.

This movement in the Spirit is happening with incredible intelligence, exact precision and purposeful preparation. This movement is hidden, it's begun in the secret place where the masses cannot see. It's happening in an undisclosed location all over the land. God's messengers are being prepared for that great and glorious day when they are all simultaneously released to ambush the religious establishment that kept a wayward and fraudulent church operating.

Signs and wonders are coming in great number - oh, not the way you think. I'm not talking about more televangelists or healing rallies. No, signs and wonders that are initiated by the Holy Spirit, spoken by God's messengers and fulfilled by the Spirit. I'm talking about God demonstrating his authority, his supremacy and his jealousy for his people and his glory.

There is a revival coming, but it's not going to look like you think. It's not going to be in the defiled temples or the godless Christian companies that use the name of God for monetary gain. No, it's coming to the highways and bi ways. It's coming to the marketplace, the grocery store and the public schools.

Keep your eyes and ears peeled to the sky for he is coming and when he does, if your lamp stand isn't full - it's too late.

the richest poor woman

2009-06-24T08:04:00.001-05:00

The poor widow who gave her pennies was able to do what the rich young ruler wanted to do.

She gave everything.

This is what Jesus requires - everything.

The rich young ruler wanted eternal life so he asked Jesus how he could get it (besides he could buy whatever he wanted). Jesus' answer was shocking to him, "go and sell everything you have... then follow me." He couldn't do it. I'm sure there was a part of him that really wanted to do it, but he loved his money and possessions more then his desire to follow Jesus.

The widow on the other hand only had $20 in her bank account. She didn't know where she would get money to eat tomorrow, how she we be able to pay her electric bill or make her mortgage payment, but she gave it all anyway and she received the Kingdom of God!

The God of mammon will give you what you want. You name it - it's yours. You want money, a new car, fame, power, etc. He can get it for you, but he robs you blindly of what really matters. While the one hand gives you material, the other takes your soul. This is why Jesus said you can't serve two masters - it's either God or money.

God is looking for a bride, not a whore. Most of God relationship with humanity has been one of divided love on our part. Humanity has shared his heart with many other loves. God is searching for those who are willing to forsake all and love him exclusively.

That may mean giving all your money away.

That may mean loosing your car, house and temporal securities.

That may mean your life.

This is the cost of being His. This is what He requires. Just like your husband or wife expects you to remain faithful emotionally and sexually to them alone, so does God.

Jesus teaches in Matthew 6 to not worry about money, food, clothing or possessions. He says this is what consumes the minds of the heathen. This is the what they system of the world requires of you - that you pledge your allegiance to security, money and the pursuit of making a good life for yourself. Jesus says in this passage that we are to remove our thoughts from these concerns and to be "worried" about one thing only - His Kingdom, His heart, His will.

God is looking for a people that will be radically given over to the spirit of John the Baptist. He had no other ambition but to prepare the way of the one he loved. He lived in desolate places, ate bugs and honey and most likely had dreadlocks. Jesus said no one was greater than him... hmmmm.

Bottom line, ask Him to undress you today from all the clothing society, the spirit of the age and your own decisions have put on you. Let him take off the worry about tomorrow, let him convict you of cheating on him and let him restore unto you the joy of your salvation.

the power of love

2009-06-23T05:10:00.003-05:00

Today, may love be my highest aim. May love awaken in my spirit that I may dwell in Heavens realities. May I set up camp in the presence of love. May my life, my words and my actions be proof that love really does cover a multitude of sins.

Give me greater revelation of real, genuine and sacrificial love. Love that bears all things, forgives all things and hopes for all things. May my life be patient and kind and may I allow love to heal and restore those closest to me. May the manifestation of love affect all I come in contact with.

Love has the power to forgive sin. Love has the power to overcome death. Love has the power to join in with God and do his Divine works. Love has no bounds and it delivers to shaky heart from all fear. For fear cannot stand the bright and brilliant light of love.

Love is too pure, too selfless, too liberating to entertain thoughts of fear. Love lets go, it gives grace to lay down your life until death, it enables our human spirit to do things it typically resists. Love conquers all things.

In love there is no limits, no selfish ambition and no other desire than the desire to serve the one being loved. Love is concerned with the affairs of others and doesn't think about one's own rights or well being. Love takes care of others before the self. It gives without any expectation of return. Love is purely motivated and has no self-seeking motive.

Love will never end but will lead us from this life into the next. Love will never cease.

Let love be our highest goal.

What's the point?

2009-06-22T05:24:00.003-05:00

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matthew 5.13

What is the purpose of salt?

It enhances life and adds more colorful flavor to the food you've put it on.

This is the purpose of our the Christian life and the Church although when most people think about Christians and the church as a whole, they have the totally opposite idea. When you think about Christians or the work of the church do you think about an enhanced life? What about your co-workers or unbelieving friends? Do they think about an enhanced life? Probably not.

But this is the very point of what Jesus was getting at. If salt loses its saltiness, then what's it good for? So if we as the people of God lose our purpose in the Earth, then what's the point?

I believe this is where the current church system sits. In a place ineffectiveness, going through the motions but not getting anywhere. My life is being turned up-side-down as I am seeing what God is doing in his church. He is brewing a great reformation to the current church establishment in order to allow his church (his people) to arise and do his work. God is deconstructing the bricks and mortar of yesterday in order to rebuild and purify his Bride for his return.

The saltiness of church is gone. Thousands, if not millions of mature and rooted believers are leaving the church establishment for good. They're resorting back to going home to home and breaking bread, keeping the unity of the faith. They're searching and looking for what's real and what God is doing.

God is up to something in the Earth and among his people. Aslan is on the move and his purpose is to redeem his church for sake of his people and his glory.

selfishness

2009-06-19T12:42:00.000-05:00

"What is causing the quarrels and fight among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it..." James 4:1

Selfishness is a sin -

Actually all sin can be traced to selfishness. The motive of breaking any of the 10 commandments is selfishness. It's the sin of preferring "me" before God or other people. Our society has done a great job at masking this sin that lurks within all of our hearts. They say, "make sure you're taken care of first..." or "if you don't take care of yourself, who will?" This pervasive message has crept into our hearts and for many it has justified our daily self-seeking rituals.

Selfishness is deceptive because it promises you that you will get what you want. It causes you to push yourself to the front of the line, to take shortcuts and to manipulate situations in order to get what you want. The truth is once you get whatever it is you were pursing, it doesn't satisfy because of your motive.

For example, say I want to have my morning coffee. Just as I'm getting ready to brew it up, Judah cries, Nikki needs help with something and Zion pooped. In that moment either I can get very frustrated because the demands of my family are taking me away from my cup of coffee or I can lay down my desire for coffee for a half an hour and then make my brew. If I choose to push through and still persist at making my coffee while the house is in need, I may get it sooner but I've burdened my heart in the process. So I may have my coffee but it cost the integrity of my soul.

Crazy, I know - but it's true. Selfishness drives us to push for our own way and then when we get what we want, it doesn't really satisfy because we schemed and killed to get it.

For me, this is heavy. This is revelatory. This is true love. I am deeply challenged to search my soul and make it my aim to honor God today in laying my life down. It's actually embarrassing that taking up my cross is related to my morning coffee - I too am a spoiled American in need of God's fire to purify my selfish heart.

his kindness

2009-06-18T05:46:00.003-05:00

"In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus." 1 Peter 5:10

I'm reminded again of God's kindness.

Being a Christian for most of my life has the potential to get used to God's kindness and forgiveness. Like if you were married to someone for 25 years you can begin to take for granted to love and devotion of your spouse.

I think for many of us we need a reawakening to how kind God really is. When we take a good, long and hard look at our failures, our wrong doing and our inability to please the law of righteousness, then and only then can we have a heart that is fully grateful and aware of how good God really is.

There's times in prayer that I can feel him. I can sense his hand upon me, his voice in my soul's ear and his presence gently yet with great weight surrounding me. Then there are other times where my spiritual life feels dry as the desert sand. In both times I remember him. I remember his kindness, his mercy, his desire for me.

God really does desire me. He really does desire you. You are on his mind all the time. He is in love with you and craves moments of devotion and intimacy with you. He's not so much concerned with sin, because that's been taken care of. He is more concerned with you. Your well being, your joy, peace and lightness of spirit. He comes to exchange heavy burdens for his burden which is light and easy.

Remember his kindness today. Remember his desire is for you. Remember how much you've been forgiven.

where sin increased...

2009-06-17T15:03:00.001-05:00

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more...

Romans 5:20

How beautiful is He?

His grace literally takes my breath away. Even now as I write these words my heart is beating fast because his grace is overwhelming.

His grace doesn't do anything in theory - only when you've murdered your brother, cursed the one you love and given into the sin that so easily knocks you off your rocker does his grace amaze.

To think anything otherwise would be to trivialize the blood of Christ.

Is it not enough? Do we ever have to earn anything from him?

This is what makes Christ's blood so powerful - it abolished our sin, removed and forgave us for our crooked hearts.

His grace draws me to my knees, causes tears to well up in my eyes and awakens my soul to a love that is beyond my human comprehension.